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this has probably been rec'd before but even though i am horribly sad i am also deliriously happy to have met someone so amazing and connected to someone more deeply than i ever really have before, even if for a short time. it's like the priests speech in fleabag when he says "when you find someone you love it feels like hope" , i think that's what it felt like meeting this person, like hope. seeing so many of the most human parts of myself that i often dislike most about myself reflected in another person, and seeing it all as beautiful, and learning that the weird or embarrassing little things that you think only you have experienced have actually been experienced by someone else too. It seemed to happen so quickly and I thought maybe I was crazy, but maybe it was just part of the natural progression of us, like how some flower species might pollinate faster than others. and now i see their name and the things i learned from the relationship everywhere. It’s like in elementary school when you learn a new word, like “Boat,” and suddenly boats seem to appear everywhere, where before the concept of a boat would’ve just been a distant floating speck or an invisible blankness
Apr 25, 2024
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even platonically, falling in love is one of the most beautiful things about life. more specifically, loving people- the way your friends do something that’s so characteristically themselves, and you can’t help but get up and throw your arms around them and think, maybe you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. the way your mother smiles and the weird little color offset in her eyes catch the light so right, and then she tells a funny joke and it catches you so off guard that you spit your water out. the way that boy in the hallway smiled at you when you started geeking about the band on your shirt.
i love to love people. i love to love all of the little things that make people unique. i love to imagine that our paths cross in every universe.
“i am a mosaic of everyone i have ever met in this lifetime.”
Jan 24, 2025
now i am a very lucky person because i am in love with some who was once one of my best friends. (sadly this rec probably isn’t universally applicable but contains good lessons i hope!) i’d met him during the first week of freshman year of college, and we immediately became close. hung out a ton and related on a lot of issues/values but our interactions were always platonic.
by wintertime we were being seen together around campus a ton, to the point that our acquaintances started asking whether we were a couple. we’d laugh at the idea, even joking about it ourselves. oh how oblivious we were.
spring rolled around and i suddenly caught feelings. for a couple weeks i tried to convince myself i didn’t like him because i was so afraid of losing our beautiful friendship. i thought it impossible that he would feel the same as me. yes, pretty torturous!! alas, my Emotional Suppression didn’t work. thank god, because one night when we were hanging out in my room he finally kissed me. i had been so afraid but instantly i knew it was right. the risk was worth it.
we’ve now been together for almost two years and he is truly the love of my life. he is the best risk I’ve ever taken. yes this is so platitudinous, but sometimes love comes when you least expect it and appears in odd places!
more generally, i think
- looking for people whose values align with yours is a wonderful place to start establishing intimate and long-lasting relationships, both platonic and romantic.
- it’s never worthwhile to force something to work out if your gut tells you it’s wrong — you’re worth more than that. love doesn’t thrive when it’s fed by obligation and pressure.
- don’t be afraid to present yourself in your full authenticity to others. if someone else has a problem with You in your Grandest Expression, they’re not worth your energy. love is meant to affirm and expand who you are, not place boundaries on it.
- go on self dates and explore what it means to have a loving relationship with yourself! you, as a singular self, are already whole and enough without having a partner. you are complete as a baseline regardless of your relationship status; a partner is meant to complement and embrace this wholeness!!
love is ridiculous and hard and beautiful; trust it when you feel it!!
Nov 10, 2024
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sincere posting look away if ur not a lovestruck fool
sometimes i look at this man with so much love in my heart it feels like butterflies again. i have best friends, of course. i love them so much and they will be in my life forever. but in these moments i’m struck with the thought “you are truly my best friend.” in past relationships, i’d try to force that feeling. now, it really does just occur to me. i get so excited for forever with him. most days, it’s not like this. most days we’re just together and there’s no stress or worry about our relationship. we’re just two people together, happy and that’s that. i am so used to this kind of love, it’s become my normal. but some days, i am struck by how in love i am and how lucky i am.
the first time i realized this was forever, a part of me felt weird about that. i had to say goodbye to the part of me that loved first dates, first kisses, and the ‘will they won’t they.’ Forever was always what I was looking for, but when presented with it, I worried about never feeling that way again.
Anyway, I don’t get first date feelings now, and I’ll never kiss someone new. But this feeling is so much better. He’s asleep right now, and I cannot wait for him to wake up so I can spend another day laughing with him.
Jan 29, 2024
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having older friends who can share their wisdom and life experiences and older-person quirks is so fun and wholesome
May 20, 2024
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genuinely believe journaling has saved my mental health but doing it in public alone is such a better alternative to going on your phone and also if you have a pretty notebook it's a great conversation starter
Jun 18, 2024
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maggie nelson says “loneliness is solitude with a problem” and wrote about how if one does one’s solitude right, the prize is an ability to love without losing yourself entirely. this has really helped me reframe how i see the past few years of feeling lonely and my discomfort with being single - these days i’ve been sorta leaning into my “solitude” and just really working on coming back to myself and my identity, and trying to see myself as whole even while on my own + appreciating the platonic love i already have in my life
Jun 2, 2024