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Takes a minimum of 10-20 years of rabidly curated, insanely multi-disciplinary study. Maybe gives you a glimpse of when physics students first understand Einstein's field equations.
Jun 5, 2024

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Wow, while studying for dutch, just had a revelation about what you THINK you know and what you REALLY understand: if you see that you have almost everything wrong, then you didn't understand it. I also realised that if you apply this to any part of your life, then you can actually be kinder to yourself. I mean how much do we truly understand?? That's also the difference between learning and just studying.
Jan 12, 2025
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I definitely towards the inward-turning-observer side, but I’ve found those observations never amount to anything if you don’t put them to use. You can gain all this understanding and certainty within yourself but if it’s limited to your own inner world that’s more or less within your control, then you’ll be stuck learning the same things over and over. Without action, a thought is just a thought.
Jan 27, 2025

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So vulnerable, I have to be sincere. European and American art galleries historically are not only promoters of great art, they are creators of markets. That may be where you could shift focus. Your worth is that you are young, eating rat, living a life of passion, filth, messiness, body horror (per my comment on such) unique and unknown to those with money. They crave you, not for your art. That's worthless to them. The art, as photographs per Sontag in my other rec, is simply a receipt that they owned a piece of your lifestyle for a moment. No one who will buy your art will likely give a fuck about your art. Stop seeking those. Find the Glengarry Glen Ross customers seeking life, escape from drudgery, a need to prove something to themselves. Let your art be that for them. Enough bs theory, now for implementation. You won't sell your art, but you can sell the frustration, bloodsweattears, dedication, sacrifice that drips from your post. You can do so by simultaneously reminding yourself you are not creating ART but CREATING art. Your work and worth is not on a canvas. It's not the art. It's in you, the artist.
May 11, 2024