🦨
i cut out my eyes in the laundry room at night
slit my bottom lip
and rinse the blade under the tap
can't tell the blood from water
no point in crying
carve into my pupil like a small, peeled plum
i've been good about taking my meds this week
you’re my oral fixation
my irises to my lips and i kiss you goodbye
salt burns the slit and i taste my own blood
phantom tickles in my sockets when i run my teeth over the flesh
suck on me
i wish i could know you from the inside out
and i buried my body in the fields near your house
set my clothes on fire to mark the spot
you can still see it when you take the overpass
not dissimilar to your scorched earth policy
should i call that a burn or is that too corny?
Sep 30, 2024
Related Recs
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My four chambered friend writ across stolen paper
your red walls pulsing in my hands
with a song so loud, so salty sweet,
my lover to devour
in the afternoon
up three thousand steps,
poetry on company time,
secrets held close to the chest
like playing cards,
nine of hearts
in my arsenal
like a cat falling from the roof eight times into oblivion
I save my ace.
I’m a hunk holding a hunk,
I’m Casanova
and I really want to know you,
I’m a heart throb
on a mission.
My star across the sky and on a waiting list
a meteor patiently in line at the self checkout,
with a fistful of ibuprofen
and a need to speed
right into my bed.
Answer my emails from between silk sheets
with a rose between my teeth.
Leak your devotion all over my best shirt
on Mondays
my love,
come apart in my hands,
melt into a silky hot drink
for me to guzzle.
Beat like a drum for me only,
my ever-marching accomplice,
you complete me.
Let me crawl into you
and take solace there
I’ll eat you from the inside out,
melt your walls down with my hands
and leave no residue.
May 13, 2024
🦨
victor has his fingers to my stomach in the shape of a gun, whispering “murder” over and over. funny that i made it a man.
your fingers to my stomach in the shape of a gun. it’s not enough to think about it, and yet i’d have to hide my face if you ever put your hands around my waist. didn’t know i was into having my wrists held until you stopped me from tickling you.
something changed under the surface. in the part of head that’s actually in my throat. can we mind-fuck?
looking through the crack in my door. you ask if i want to talk about it. i say i want to sleep, and talking keeps me awake. you say talking could put it to bed and i say nothing.
my heart and my lungs are fragile. thought of you stopping my head, turning my face towards you, the intention, of meaning to kiss me. for a moment the hole in my chest was gone. there’s that line, about having a god-shaped hole and it being infected. this time, tonight, there’s a gouge in my chest, right around or below my sternum, and it’s letting all the cold air in. makes it hard to fall asleep.
you ask if i’m okay through the closed door. i understand that you love me and you don’t mind waiting.
it takes until my chest is dully aching and my stomach burning for me to admit i’m awake. kissing you feels like resurfacing. something is wrong in my body. so i go out into the hallway. i squint in the light. in the mirror, i meet your eyes, and you’re smiling.
Sep 30, 2024
It's as if you cracked my skull open
Peeked inside while I was sleeping
And I'm thinking, what business do you have?
…
And I wish I could unsee your kindness
Every upward turn of your mouth
But I cannot so I'll bury it in sound
In grace, in erasing myself
…
I would live in the deepest cave
And draw upon the walls
Ignore the sticks and stones
To ignite some kind of fire
…
And God, will they love me if I am honest?
I would starve until every bone would show
Just to feel a little lighter
And still avoid the truth
…
You carved your name in me
And I wish I never knew you
Dec 17, 2024
Top Recs from @selectmorsels
1. company lot by noel miller (kinda like doomscrolling through the tech world but in a funny way. would not play around your parents or coworkers lol)
2. tiny meat gang (used to be with two cohosts, but one is a creep so he's off and it's noel miller hosting interviews, news guy bits, etc. pretty versatile ever since cody ko left. the older episodes with cody are funny too, but i personally don't want to watch them anymore. also would not play around your parents or coworkers)
3. beersos (two hs best friends talk about unhinged shit every episode. also also would not play around anyone tbh)
4. welcome to nightvale (it's a radio show for a fictional town called nightvale. has some fire lines. is overall kooky and odd. often eerie)
anyway, here's a screengrab from the first few seconds of the first episode of company lot
Oct 1, 2024
🦨
i don't want to be lonely
it's not midnight anymore
it hits when i'm high over the ocean
one eye open
the other lost to the black depths
nights like these, it feels like i'll never wake up
won't be returning to the shore
everything i want refuses to come within six metres of me
even when neither of us are real
Sep 30, 2024
🦨
i want you to walk through the door without harm
Sep 30, 2024