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and i don’t want to be scared. i don’t know how many months or how many years i have before my condition spirals out of control. i don’t know how much time i have left to live a normal life or pretend as if im living a normal life. as a normal person. this should scare me. and it does. but not enough for me to care about the things that really matter. i constantly find myself wallowing in the wait of this spiral. and i don’t want to wallow anymore. it’s difficult not to wallow.
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long answer- you’re not alone. and if your fears persist and impact your ability to try to live a meaningful life, I would really suggest talking to someone about it like a friend or a therapist. i say this a lot and I’m not even much of a Dune fan but— fear is the mind killer. for yourself, for the people you love, for the sake of even just switching it up sometimes, learn to draw upon your courage and practice it. you won’t regret it and I believe in you! 💛 (also according to my partner the bird flu is probably least of your worries at this point, unless it becomes another swine flu, idk tho)
Jan 1, 2025
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moving to a random area where i don’t know anyone. all i can think about is i need to learn how to give myself the heimlich. just throwing myself into a table or some shit.
Sep 19, 2024
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talking about my life scares me. but if i am honest and try to make it fun then it does the opposite.
Mar 15, 2024
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Jan 4, 2025
Mar 5, 2025
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like their head. when you kiss it.
Dec 30, 2024