I wanted to do this on purpose. As a woman I feel a lot of pressure from all around me to be constantly aware of my appearance. I frequently wish to be able to exist without constantly concerning myself about my appearance. I don’t consider myself someone who cares a lot about this in the first place. I don’t really wear makeup, I dress casually, not because these things are bad, but because thats just not how I choose to represent myself. I value so many things about myself and I believe that my physical appearance should fall LAST in line of my values. I value myself for being a critical thinker. And with being a critical thinker, you have to question the rhetoric that you, yourself believe. Why is it that I want to care less about my appearance? Why is it that when I look in the mirror at my new choppy blunt bangs I feel the need to justify them, to say they’re edgy, cute, they’re dakota Johnson joan of arc “core”. Why is it that I worry that my mother will see this as me spiraling. Is it so bad to look not perfect?