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š§āāļø
I valued the idea of being low maintenanceĀ and chill for so long and I don't know if it's been living in LA and or being around more rich people but I realized recently that it is all a lie. every single person that is effortlessly ājust being themselvesā is lying. They are getting acupuncture and lymphatic drainage and taking pilates and yoga 3 times a week and getting facials and layering $90 serums and creams on top of their face and going to erewhon 80 times a day to get probiotic water that does not exist. they are a project. and guess what? so am I! sometimes it's nice.
Jun 19, 2023
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š§¼Maybe itās just my frontal lobe developing but Iāve been really simplifying the aesthetics of my life latelyā¦ no more dyed hair or heavy makeupā¦ pared back outfits, plain nails and switching auto-caps back onā¦. Investing in the quality and durability of things/people in my life rather than the folly of aesthetic currency.
Theres something awesome about feeling like Iām enough as a person on the inside without trying so hard to reflect it on the outside. I donāt have to be the most interesting person in a room anymore! I can just be :)
Dec 9, 2024
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āļøI wanted to do this on purpose. As a woman I feel a lot of pressure from all around me to be constantly aware of my appearance. I frequently wish to be able to exist without constantly concerning myself about my appearance. I donāt consider myself someone who cares a lot about this in the first place. I donāt really wear makeup, I dress casually, not because these things are bad, but because thats just not how I choose to represent myself. I value so many things about myself and I believe that my physical appearance should fall LAST in line of my values. I value myself for being a critical thinker. And with being a critical thinker, you have to question the rhetoric that you, yourself believe. Why is it that I want to care less about my appearance? Why is it that when I look in the mirror at my new choppy blunt bangs I feel the need to justify them, to say theyāre edgy, cute, theyāre dakota Johnson joan of arc ācoreā. Why is it that I worry that my mother will see this as me spiraling. Is it so bad to look not perfect?
Jun 22, 2025
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šHonestly I feel like Iāve reached this stage in my life where overthinking has literally become a part of my personality. It seems to have taken over so much of who I could become and if Iām being fr, itās not it lol.
I am actively trying to be nonchalant and, it has been helping me? like i feel so free lol. I just really want to be able to be my truest self without feeling so much, is that so much to ASK forš„¹šāāļø
Jun 5, 2025
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š¤¼so nice finishing something or having a friend finish something and then swapping that book. sharing things with your loved ones? making memories tactile? it's nice! (some that I've given or received that I've loved as of late: why fish don't exist - lulu miller, clarice lispector - an apprenticeship, how to do nothing - jenny odell, stay true - hua hsu)
Jun 19, 2023
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š¬The world's tough place. There's lots of movies I want to see and because of the dumbest corporate reasons, lots of times they're unavailable or only available to buy on a streaming service. At that point I'd rather just get a blu-ray (s/o walmart dot com and the kino lorber sale...) but if I can't find one, or if it's $50, I'll straight up just see if it's avail to watch on youtube or through the internet archive and a lot of times it is. The quality might not be great, but that's okay. It's important to not get what you want sometimes in life. (Elaine May's A New Leaf, Scorsese's Kundun, Todd Solondz' Happiness, Akira Kuroswa's Dreams,Ā Joseph L. Mankiewicz's SleuthĀ etc. etc.)
Jun 19, 2023
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šTravel is weird on the body. I'm of course, so grateful to be a modern independent woman or whatever but no one talks about how feminism means you're always fighting off a little cold...I really hate swallowing pills so I stand by these swabs when I'm about to get sick. *Ayo's Note: Right before I sent this off, I consulted a friend about my list...turns out the guy who created this was kind of insane and these might not work and might even? damage my nerve receptors xo. That is what is so rock and roll about me....I'm addicted to danger (I'm not).
Jun 19, 2023