Related Recs

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Not falling for in-fighting

I fully acknowledge my privilege this recommendation. I have the privilege to be able to build bridges because, though I am able to be dismissed because I'm a femme-presenting woman, I am much less viscerally threatened in general because I am white. That being said, I feel like I have turned a new leaf in that I largely refuse to contribute to in-fighting discussions. In my mind, we are all in a race against the 1% but they have tricked us into thinking we are in a race with each other. I have decided to let go of the race. I have decided that whether they fear, pity, hate, whatever me, I'm going to value "the opposition" as people and when they are able to figure out who we should be actually fighting, I will be there happy to provide resources and supplies that I have in the aid of this goal. Until then, I'll be around. The isolation that has been bred since long before I was born has just destroyed a sense of community, something that I yearn so much for. I know that people do things that bring me harm. For instance, I still take many COVID precautions and am part of two COVID safe communities. However, I know that the large majority of the population no longer cares and does, unwillingly or not, participate in a lack of overall health safety for me and my family, as well as their own safety. But I'm not going to isolate, I'm going to take precautions to continue to be part of community. I believe folding people in together is the only way forward. My brother is a huge fan of Elon Musk, which is so gross and awful. I used to shut down conversations about this but I've decided to be open, honest, and present with him about this. I check Elon's behavior to him, let him know that I believe his actions are on purpose and that my brother is making nazi sympathizer choices with his thoughts and actions. I also let him know that when it's ready to fight, I want him to be on our side, which he states he would be (idk). That's all I can do. Keep communication open. Keep connection open. Make these sympathizers not fear "the others" because I am willing to participate and provide and talk. Now, none of this means I'm willing to lay down as terrible beliefs ravage our society. I am still able to be critical of others choices and I will defend myself and my family against harm if need be. I just believe that the core of most of the harm and violence comes from the top. I believe that people are emotionally thrown for a loop when they come to a conversation with fear-based hostility and find community-based hospitality in response. I will continue to advocate for the people who are being brutalized our community. I believe, however, that they need to hear us first. They need to see us as human, and I think part of that is showing them that we see them as human. Yes, flawed scared scapegoating humans that need to be held responsible for their actions if and when they participate in violence. I'm not talking about conceding or finding "common ground" in our beliefs beyond the basic humans need food water shelter (and love if they're about that). I may acknowledge their fear, the influences that they have been under, and the things surround their hate. I will try to come at it at as loving as a place as I can, always reminding myself that they were once babies shaped to view the world as this big scary thing filled with monsters, taught by the actual monsters who want to control everything. Again, I'm only recommending this if you have the energy to do so. I think a lot of people have tried for years and then get burned out. I get that, I think getting stronger within your own community would help grow the ability to then reach outside and communicate. At the same time, my friend and I were talking about how some people are just "front of house" and some are "back of house" and the front of house people can be the ones interacting with society and the back of house can build the inside. We don't all have to do everything, let's find out strengths and build on those to get through, and maybe even past, the shit show we find ourselves living in today.

@dillydallydoily

Jan 31, 2025

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This manipulation has been going on for generations and generations

I am lucky to have had the circumstances in my life that has led me to question authority, not take things at face value, and to focus on building community to combat feelings of hopelessness. This has been long and arduous and only possible because I didn't have to deal with other resources in my life being scarce. Scarcity creates a survival-mode and flight/fight/freeze/fawn are the ways people live within that mode. It is near impossible to think philosophically or critically when you are being provided scarcity. I think there is some amount of innate desire of humans to be taken care of right? In an animalistic way. The unnatural and inhumane use of capitalism has for so many people created a gap within that desire of being taken care of and actually being taken care of. I believe that the combination of this survival mode/fight-flight-etc. and the chasm that many people feel of that intense unmet desire to be taken care of has led to the situation that we find ourselves in today. These people were not born to be these fearful, distrustful, paranoid, cagey people. They were babies who needed to be taken care of. They were babies and children who, through circumstances outside of their control, were not taken care of. Yes, as adults they "should" be able to make better decisions and how one grows up "shouldn't" dictate what they do to others. But that's an easy thing to say when you have those resources and have *no idea* what it feels like to have not had them. This is pretty much a mixture of the other responses, because compassion and knowing that people are hurting is basically what makes me not mad at them. I get frustrated and I wish the circumstances were different, and I will defend myself or others if need be from violent behavior, but I do not hate these people. I am mad at the selfishness that has been able to be bred in this society through hundreds of years.

@dillydallydoily

Jan 28, 2025

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Nuance and understanding

I am able to see everything as multifaceted. I know there are more than two sides to the same coin, and I believe things shouldn’t be approached as they appear. being able to recognize this has made me a more understanding person. I’m still a hater to my core, and I still make snap judgements about people cutting me off in traffic or being rude to me in the grocery store and the like, but as someone who works in customer service, it has helped me not take everything so personally. Someone snapping at me, or asking a lot of questions that may seem obvious isn’t necessarily a pock on their character. Someone may be having a bad day, or is really tired, or high, or just hasn’t been here and they are overwhelmed because everything is new and different. I am also able to avoid spiraling about my personal relationships because it really is not about me all the time. And even if/when it is about me, it most likely not malicious. A lot of people have anxieties they don’t recognize actively, but they still act on them. And that is okay. We are all people, we all fuck up, and we all keep living.

@ugliestbinch

Mar 6, 2025

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Top Recs from @blu-hunt

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READING/WRITING DETAILED INSCRIPTIONS IN BOOKS

Well, first, let me just say that if you don’t read often, my initial recommendation is that you change that, and begin reading often.I love to read. I refuse to borrow books from people, and I never lend them out. I’ve always felt like there was something special about the physical copy of the book you read any story in. Something I love to do is to inscribe my books. In fact, it’s sort of a rule of mine, or if not a rule, a sort of ritual. Years ago, my inscriptions started out simply, usually just when and where I got the book (i.e. Mast Books 2019) with my signature underneath. But over time my inscriptions have become increasingly more detailed. In addition to when and where I got the book, I now write everything about the moment in which I bought it, including my day preceding the moment of purchase, my mood during the actual sale, and whatever else springs to mind. After this I write another equally detailed inscription whenever I actually start reading the book. Finally, I write a culminating inscription in the back of the book as soon as I finish reading the last page. Through this process, every book I own becomes a sort of makeshift diary, demarcating the specific period of my life in which that book kept me company. Little bits of ordinary days that I otherwise would never have thought to remember become a matter of permanent record in my library. And when I flip through an old book, I remember not only my life at that time, but also how it was interwoven with the actual narrative of the book. It’s a strangely comforting feeling. Whenever someone gives me a book, I always request an inscription from them, so I never forget who gave it to me, and when I give a book, I of course inscribe it for them too. So, if you ever find yourself looking at your pile of books, big or small, and can’t remember when you read them, or who gave them to you, just start inscribing them! You don’t have to be tedious and sentimental about it like me (although being tedious and sentimental, I do highly recommend), just write a little something, and then you’ll have a library of memories too. And an inscribed book really is the best gift you can give! (Along with cakes)(If you do want a good book rec, check out The Factory by Hiroko Oyamada, it’s like 120 pages, so hardly a book, but a really great quick and profound little read)

@blu-hunt

Oct 13, 2022

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LEAVING

My most recent example of misanthropy (love this word), the one that probed my Ex to label me as such over the phone, is my current chosen state of extended solitude. Over a month ago, during a bad night’s sleep, I woke up at 3AM and decided to pack a couple suitcases and get on the next flight out of LAX. I ended up in Mexico City, where I don’t know a soul and can’t speak the language. I just had an intense desire to be alone and away from (mostly) everyone I know. And now I’ve been here for weeks and weeks, completely alone outside of a couple short visits from some good and trusted friends. And so, what I would like to recommend to you is the act of leaving. Leaving everything behind you when you need to. And you probably need to or have needed to or will need to. So just do it, leave! Leave your home, the place you live, wherever it is, as often as you can, whenever the impulse strikes, if you have the lifestyle that offers you that privilege. Get on a plane, get in your car, rent a hotel. Go somewhere, anywhere, that makes you feel a little apprehensive at first, somewhere new that you’ve never been, or somewhere far away that you know well and that you love. Go to see others, or go to be alone, but go for longer than you think you should. If you try to think of reasons not to leave, you won’t, so don’t consider any of them, don’t think about it at all. You will never regret it. And if you can’t get on a plane and go to another country near or far, if you have a solid job like a normal decent person, or something seriously tethering you to one place… Then get up from whatever you are doing and go somewhere else. Start walking to a park or drive to some neighborhood you’re not familiar with and spend time alone there. Explore your unfamiliar surroundings. Just forge an escape plan, suddenly and without thought, whatever it is or whatever it looks like, and just do it….

@blu-hunt

Oct 13, 2022

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Think About Your Troubles – Harry Nilsson

The perfect song to listen to whenever you feel stressed or sad. Like most of Harry Nilsson’s music, it’s a weird little song that was written for a children’s animated television film called The Point, about a little boy named Oblio and his dog Arrow. On the soundtrack album for The Point, Harry Nilsson narrates the story, even performing the characters' voices and dialogue, in between all of the songs. The whole thing is really quite soothing, I think. But this particular song really just does something for me.

@blu-hunt

Oct 13, 2022