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My old friends Ryan and Evan introduced me to the idea of a “friendship initiation ceremony” in high school. Theirs was honestly really fun for me, but I’m not gonna be uncool and say what it was. My own initiations (punishments? lol) were vigils where I’d park my car in a quiet and dark spot and play this album front to back and cry. With the song “Rapture” tears were unavoidable. If someone could sit through the trial of my quiet sobs 1-on-1 then I was certain our bond was strong. I did that ritual four times.
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i value repetition & loudness (volume & atmosphere) for my meltdown music . both of these songs (by julian casablancas & the voidz + sufjan stevens) have almost meditative flows that you can tap into especially when listening loud & on repeat , building until they are all encompassing .
the heavy distorted riff in sadness & the mantra of i want to be well (i‘m not fucking around!) have been steady accompaniments to many of my meltdowns , spiritual & otherwise .
tbt to scream/crying i want to be well in the car on calgary highways 🤘🥲
Aug 18, 2024
Absolutely cringe and dramatic but extremely cathartic
Feb 12, 2024
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sasurai - hako yamazaki
blues, haunting, yearning, lamenting. stare at the flickering flame of a candle in a pitch black room with a bottle of jack
any song from the album a crow looked at me - mount eerie
the first sentence of the first song will immediately gut you and twist the knife
always enough/ oh magnificent nature - carlos niños & jesse peterson
this is a beautiful happy to be alive, in love with the world cry. the laughter of children always brings tears to my eyes
Feb 7, 2024
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I love entering through the department stores. I love the metallic smell of the fountains, and estimating the amount of change thrown there. I love the manicured displays and the wigs they put on the mannequins. I love Orange Julius. I love washing my hands in the sink at Bath and Body Works. I love having a place to walk indoors when it’s raining, and this was a crucial feature during the years I lived in Boston. The Prudential Center is open 24/7, and I loved wandering around it in the middle of the night.
Dec 8, 2022
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Over the last couple of years I became super addicted to the coziness of “Sword and Sorcery” fantasy movies. My favorites are the ones made circa the 80’s: Red Sonja, Apple, The Last Unicorn, Masters of the Universe, and Beastmaster; which is simply my favorite of the genre. In a broader sense, these movies share the kind of sentiment I love to feel when watching B-movies: sloppy execution cannot destroy the charisma embedded in a labor of love.
Dec 8, 2022
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I’m a librarian at heart. I cherish the collection of images I’ve built and organized over years of dissecting the printed material that’s fallen into my hands. The kinds of revelations and surprises that occur when juxtaposing new combinations keeps my writing process fresh and amusing. If collaging is like assembling a puzzle, then maybe the collage is only finished when the composition reflects some kind of inner clarity… hmm
Dec 8, 2022