although i get it, it can make you more pissed in the moment but one day it clicked for me. the people that hurt you probably don't think about you. even though these people arent in your life they still affect you and what they did to you is now your problem and its yours to deal with. i get that when it comes to resentment, it is usually the other person who did you wrong, but that pain isn't shared its just yours. i think once it clicks that you own that pain it is for you to do what you want with it, you have more power over it than you might think! i once thought that me thinking about people that hurt me more than they think about me was a sign i "lost" in a weird way. i thought "doing well" was being the one who doesn't care about the other anymore, but when someones hurt you thats not how it works. i think realising that the pain you feel isnt a tie to someone, its just yours, it gives you more agency. the person that hurt you is probably just going on with life as if nothing happen because the pain that was inflicted is not something you share. not to sound like an asshole but that pain in my experience has been a blessing in disguise. i get it it sucks, lots of lurv girl xoxo