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you know, where you put your keys and things. a small jar of gum. keep it filled. you will always leave the house with the freshest breath 99 cents can buy — and you always arrive with nearly, almost fresh breath, for all of your friends and acquaintances to enjoy
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Mar 6, 2025
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I am always chewing gum. Gum is the ultimate satisfaction to the demands of my oral fixation. However, most gum is evil. Most gum is just literal plastic and sugar. When you chew ‘regular’ gum you are also chewing the same chemicals and substances used to make plastic bottles and bags and things. But what’s even worse than that, is that the sugars in gum cause bacteria in your mouth that makes your breath smell like shit. There are lots of organic, clean, sugar-free options of gum to choose from, but Spry gum rises above them all. It’s the only dentist recommended gum. It cleans your teeth and contains not a single naughty ingredient! Spry is what gum should always strive to be and only does what gum should do. Sure, its durability is lacking, you can’t chew it for long, but this is a solvable sacrifice. I buy my Spry in this weird apple sized bulk container, so as soon as I’ve chewed one through, I can begin anew without any worry of running through my stockpile. I find myself at parties handing out little chiclets of gum to various drunk people, who when they see my funny little container contraption suddenly not only want a piece, but also to ask me about it, and like a character in an infomercial, I am always ready to tell them.
Oct 13, 2022
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Spearmint and you only have to brush your teeth once a day
Jan 24, 2024
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unrelated but does anyone think it’s starting to get a little hazy in here
Nov 8, 2023
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Nov 1, 2023