truly felt like reading my own journals from when I was 18, 19, but infinitely more discerning and eloquent!
“O my self, I will be sincere, sincere to you, completely sincere.”
“I will suffer; that is all. I will be strong enough.”
“I take back everything; I give up all faithfulness … I would like to live! I am going to live ... I am giving myself up; I am letting everything collapse, and I will start over again with something else. I am no longer paying attention to moral values; I am no longer seeking to do something. I want to be, to be. My beloved self, on an evening of exaltation, I promised you I would love you well.”