Especially now that I’m committed to being blonde, I like throwing away all of my money into a void. That financial void helps fill the void in my heart and I pack it with miscellaneous nice-smelling chemicals that claim to make my hair longer, stronger, healthier, and shinier. I somehow believe it will make me more beautiful and more powerful than ever before (I’m still not beautiful nor powerful). I always *think* it’s kind of maybe almost working if I squint in the mirror and think happy thoughts but despite the ambiguity I keep buying and buying and buying anyway, bewitched by the creative descriptions and captivating packaging engineered to trick suckers like me into false hope. Even though I understand the deception on an intellectual level, the emotional high of collecting far outweighs the acknowledgement of an inconvenient truth. The sweet smell of denial!