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Maybe this is delusional but it's what I genuinely believe and I think being able to operate like this every day is energy well spent
Dec 19, 2023

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Some people mistake this for being happy all the time. I am not happy all the time, but optimism genuinely makes every moment a little more hopeful.
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The world is electric, sad, crazy, pretty, lost, exciting, needy, spinning, wtf now. But I want to be completely unafraid to live every day. The girl who still sings funny lyrics, cries when she sees a flapping pigeon trying to escape, longs for the things her Maker has wired her for, the girl who chases after weird rabbit holes that she thinks are cute, has NO idea how things will turn out the next day, the passion that turns her hot and cold, the girl who thinks through everything but also effing go like, I should have gone on that boat. I really should have. Because life.
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And sometimes you just know! I love my friends so much I'll die from it one day, probably.
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Lately I’ve been feeling like all of my thoughts left my brain and that I was once more intelligent (i.e. interesting, desirable, fun, etc.). I think my old self is lingering somewhere near me but I can’t touch her, I can only feel her. But I like reaching out and looking for her anyway.
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