Rec | BEING COMFORTABLE RESPONDING TO TEXTS 1-6 HOURS (OR MORE!...

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being comfortable responding to texts 1-6 hours (or more!) after receiving

PHONE is not an immediate access object to my brain. I will respond when it feels right!

@jakes

Jan 24, 2024

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Shamelessly responding 2 seconds after receiving a text

Even though it took them half a day to respond

@ch0wwder

Apr 15, 2024

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a single daily window for responding to instant messages

Earlier today, before reading this ask, I had been journaling about how to manage this in my own life. There's a real power in unbroken flow, deep work, and space to think and abide. But in a flash it can be undermined by the "interrupt me" device in my pocket. Texting and messaging people whenever we feel like it is normal behavior. Probably it should not be normal behavior, but that's where we've found ourselves. So if I want something different, then the responsibility is on me to hold space for it. I don't have the tech rules in place yet, but I do like the idea of having one window of 30-60 minutes daily, or maybe a morning window and evening window, when I respond to instant messages. Over time, the folks in my life will understand that if it is urgent they should call me.

@mattshawsome

Nov 20, 2024

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Responding to messages instantly

As someone who has been a historically negligent telecommunicator, this habit is definitely one that has required some intention and tlc in developing, but boy has it been worth it! First and foremost, this is a bandwidth godsend. By responding to messages as soon as you get them, you fulfill your immediate duty and free up that sweet sweet real estate. But of course there are also many downstream benefits that I will cover in as soon as I qualify a bit and explain the practice. Qualifiers: Obviously dont stay glued to your device, or stop whatever you’re doing, or get into more involved discussion when it is not the time or place to do so. And also in dating I think there is a real value in the air that used to be so natural and implicit before texting. The Practice: Very simple. When an inbound comes in and you see it, simply take 5 seconds to 1 minute to read and respond to it. Most things I find can be answered with a yes, no, or maybe so. And if it can’t, a “can I call you later” or “good question 🤔” or “let me see” might do the trick. And finally, if none of these work go ahead and take your little time and respond later. Downstream benefits: People like it Things get sorted out faster Less falls through the cracks No apology texts or excuses less overthinking communications/more authenticity Obviously there is no right or wrong way. I have a friend that goes read receipts, reads stuff, then, if needed, takes his time to get back to you. And I actually find that nice to be on the receiving end of because it’s always intentional. But I’ve really enjoyed this way and practice and wanted to recommend it as it has added a lot of value in my life.