“The best thing you can be in life is tipsy. There’s four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk, hung over. Tipsy’s the only one out of the four where you don’t cry during it.”
– James Acaster
1) speaking french (fluently)
2) british accent (cockney)
3) guessing peoples jean sizes (accurately. i can spot a 29-30 x 34 a mile away)
4) eating food out of the trash
5) running (in 4in platforms)
6) altercations (very rarely physical but this is not a non-zero chance of happening)
7) carry dressers 4x my size off the street (minimal struggling for some reason)
8) pushups
9) referring to myself as mama
10) falling in love
11) playing with candle wax until someone from behind the bar takes it away from me
12) question my gender (i would’ve been such a good boy. i’d make a better boy than i do a girl)
