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I have always believed that any relationship is more about yourself than others because you are nothing, you are not, without your relationships. Usually, it is a mix of time and self-discovery that leads to forgiveness and having difficult or emotionally tiring conversations with people.
I don't know why sometimes things end up messy and I catch onto shared feelings, usually a cachéd behavior and lack of communication.
The last time I experienced forgiveness was when after much distance, I finally called A*****. It was poignant for me because it signalled self-forgiveness as well as more of an internal moving on for me, from my hurt and acceptance that some things would not be understood on her part and I had to take that.
Last night, me and the friend in question right now, chatted along the Canal St. Martin and I sobbed uncontrollably.
Life is really a piece of work sometimes. Forgiveness and generosity are the hardest things to do, and I admire the people in my life who have shown me how to accomplish even a little amount of both these.
Feb 6, 2024
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I had a conflict with someone earlier today. We were both wrong. Each had our share of sub-par behavior.
At first I didn't want to apologize, even though I knew I'd screwed up: I didn't want to do anything to distract them from their error.
But then I thought about it: what do I really want here? I want a relationship with this person. I don't want bad blood between us. I'd much rather have reconciliation and resolution than preserve my pride.
So I decided that I didn't care if they apologized or owned their stuff. I'd just focus on my side of it, worry about that only, and make sure my own slate was cleared.
And of course once I'd apologized then they did too. If I hadn't then who knows how long it would have been until reconciliation. So totally worth it.
It's sad that some friendships end or families splinter because neither person is willing to say sorry first.
Oct 15, 2024
Feb 3, 2024
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i feel like we can never fully redeem ourselves but we can be better and refrain from making mistakes once you acknowledge it is one.
Feb 8, 2024
Top Recs from @princesszahra
I loved the exhibition which presented Madame Grès and Azzedine Alaïa's pieces in conversation. This bit of the exhibition text struck a note:
"When you find something that is personal and unique," said Madame Gres, "you must make the fullest possible use of it, pursuing its realisation wichout stopping until the end." Alaia echoed her words years later: "When an idea comes into your mind, you must capture it with a lasso and circle around it relentlessly."
I liked how they saw couture as sculpture and I wondered if I should experiment with the sewing machine next. Something I am already considering. The place itself was small but lovely, with one of the most beautifu, cosy and quiet terrasses I have seen in a while, and well populated only by fashionable folks. Something similar to something I should open in Karachi, with artist studios upstairs perhaps. Grès' photographs of her dresses worn also touched me. I wonder how much of capturing imagination is image creation, and if this is a sign I should start experimenting with film now that I have an array of lenses from M. Chacha.
Grès' story was also remarkable to me because of her true love for creation and art, and how she just opened a storefront and did not follow fashion week calenders. I wonder if I should too, just buy a storefront here and start my own thing, like Nazish and I were discussing on Saturday evening.
Mar 11, 2024
This was a gamble for me to do, especially on a piece that I'm liking so far, but in a bout of late-night risk-taking mood, I decided to layer the fabric with transparent gesso. I didn't dilute with water or stretch the fabric better, just going at it with gusto. Now dried, it looks and feels fantastic. The oilstick and pastel feels mummified. I can't wait to go in with washy oil paint on top.
Feb 4, 2024
Loved this little thread and wooden needle shelf at the Bijoy Studio exhibition at Fondation Cartier this past weekend.
Mar 11, 2024