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Listen, if you’re just starting to lift weights and need something to get the juices flowin’, be my guest and listen to some corny ass rock music. Couldn’t be me! But be my guest. I want people to feel comfortable in their bodies, so as long as you feel as if have more agency than before, good.
HOWEVER. Any experienced lifter knows you can only reach that upper echelon of workouts if you feel hot. Not like, “Oh I’m starting to see some progress good for me.” No, fuck that. I’m talkin’ HOT. You gotta feel SEXY. Step your game up by ditching the chugging guitars and put on some snap. If you are not walking onto the gym floor like you are on stage at Magic City in Atlanta circa 2008 than take your ass back to the couch.
Feb 9, 2024
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I got into weight lifting for the same reason I get into most things, which is pure unbridled vanity. I read or heard somewhere in my many biohacker information channels that weight lifting is the most anti-aging form of exercise, especially for women, and so I was like on my way! I wasn’t about to pay some community college bro $100 an hour at my LA Fitness to train me though so I just googled “weight lifting classes near me” and because I live a charmed and bless life I found the fucking coolest independent gym like a mile from my house and have been going there for almost a year. Vanity aside, it just makes you feel so good all the time. I love watching myself get stronger and I love the feeling after you lift something really heavy you thought you could never have lifted and I love all the neighborhood friends I’ve made there, including former PI subject and possibly coolest girl alive Petra Cortright. (Honestly a large part of my social life takes place there?) Anyway everyone over 30 should lift weights, preserve your waning muscle mass and build up your self-esteem babe.
Oct 20, 2023
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Heavy metal pressing down, your neck in its path to the ground.
Contracting muscles, screaming joints squeeze out the chemicals your brain knows as "fear".
It's the folly of humanity, the preference for harm over boredom.
It's the schizoid relationship with the self; the awe at the infinite potential shown on the magazines, and the despair over the work required, work that can only end ever end underground unless you love (or hate) your body enough to try and make it perfect.
It's cool. It's a craft. It should be catered to your tastes.
It's endless lies, peddled and inherited, the biggest two being that the numbers matter and that the numbers don't matter.
It's the love for the moment; the sweaty mechanics of forever existing in a present ready to abandon you. That's where the power of the exercise comes in. When you lift, you defy space but also time. Taking the bar means taking the present and refusing to let go, stretching the instants as far as your condition can because on some deep, reptilian level you know you don't have an infinite supply of them.
Apr 24, 2024
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Embrace the gratification of picking increasingly heavy things up and throwing them down, form be damned. Get a bench press in your basement, do it in your jeans, get a sweat minimal midday win.
Nov 13, 2023
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When I was a teenager there was this parking lot between a diner and a Dunkin Donuts that we called “The Parking Lot of Party” because it is where we partied. I love making little mythologies behind things that to everyone outside of our circle is totally inconspicuous. Anyway, last weekend I learned that you can name things in Google Maps, so now this bench by The LA River that I think is funny has my little joke name for it labeled for everyone to see.
Jan 31, 2024
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Being the main character is hack shit, and really? You ain’t. All the people I see acting like the main character are all like, girls with blonde hair who didn’t hear Sonic Youth until their 20s or guys that that have daydreams about what they’d say as a guest on a podcast. I’m a supporting character. I’m Kramer, not Jerry, and I love it. Who needs a stressful storyline? If I get a storyline it is FUN, and EASY, and most importantly, UNNECESSARY. Most of the time I show up for a few minutes, get my bits in, and peace out. Simply living life.
Feb 3, 2024
When I’m mindlessly skimming through IG I will screenshot any story that has music in it, and then two or three times a week I will make a giant playlist of all the music people posted and listen through. Most of it is stuff I have heard before or stuff that is no good, but I get a lot of interesting music from this! Mostly I do it because the people I follow are randos I never met or met once, and this helps me feel closer to these strangers I’ve basically been collecting. An average week is a little over 10 hours of music.
Feb 11, 2024