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right after ginny passed

When we took Ginny to her final vet appointment on Saturday, it was pouring rain. The city and surrounding areas were expecting 2.5" and the heaviest hours were in the late afternoon. But when we left the vet's, the rain had stopped and the sun was starting to set. Everything looked so lush and had this golden hour light cast over it. Shortly after we pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, Wes and I went for a walk. I took him down a path Ginny and I used to walk during quarantine. During the walk, I said how Ginny looked like a puppy when she was put to rest and how “Ginny always looked like a puppy. She was so innocent.” And then I realized it was the first time I spoke of Ginny in the past tense and that hurt and made me want to stop talking. And then we kept walking and there was this part that was just a steep incline and I felt so light headed doing it, and the visuals were getting progressively more lush and gold and it felt like Ginny was walking with us and I said that out loud. And we passed this house where a Ginny-sized dog barked at us from behind the fence, and I was like, that dog is barking at Ginny. I bet there was a rainbow to be found if only we'd looked up.

@paras

Mar 26, 2024

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“YOU'RE the only one who could have loved her so well”

My dog Mina passed away on Saturday. Understandably, I am unwell. She was mine before she was ours. I met her when she lived at the dog shelter I worked at. She was so badly behaved, but she was also the sweetest cuddle bug once you got past it. She’s the only dog that I would weep at the prospect of her not being in my life. I’m now grappling with that, 10 years later. Mina was the sweetest dog, but she was not easy. Anyone with a leash/barrier reactive dog will know what I mean. She also had bad knees and at one point needed surgery, meaning I carried her 50lbs up and down three flights of stairs multiple times a day. Despite all of it, she lived a very full life. We went on a lot of adventures. She made so many human, dog, and cat friends. She helped many dogs become acclimated to living in a home. She helped me foster a baby kitten. She loved and protected my kids. There are people we’ve notified because they love me, then there are people we’ve notified because they love both of us. I love thinking of all those people. It’s been comforting to me that they all say a similar thing- that I love and cared for her better than most people could or would. I’ve realized that when someone I love dies, I always worry that they didn’t know how much I loved them. With Mina, I have no doubt that she knew. For the past 10 years I structured my life with her best interest in mind, and I would do it all again and again. She was and always will be my soul dog 💗

@mossyelfie

Nov 25, 2024

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This early draft i started writing in 2023 about my observations of a couple of close family members

The events I describe occurred in late 2022 and Jim ended up passing away from complications of his alcoholism in January 2023 (his death convinced my own father to quit drinking). Jim taught me how to shoot and his favorite activity was going to the range. We had countless conversations over black coffee about his childhood in Ireland, the writings of James Joyce, and the film adaptations of Tennessee Williams’s work. He was tremendously charming and had a sharp sense of humor. I was like the daughter he never had and I loved the bastard! May he rest in peace. (Might have to finish writing this…) — “Catherine had a mind like a pit bull.  Whatever the obstacle that presented itself in front of her, she would attack it with unrelenting determination.  She always got her way.  She had never come across a problem she couldn’t fix, except for what her brother had become.   It’s not like she had a lot of money, but she felt it was her duty to help her brother.  She went into thousands of dollars of debt procuring for him new furniture that would hopefully give him a new lease on life: a tasteful grey tweed three-seater sofa; a cozy armchair with a matching footstool befitting a family patriarch; a mid-century modern wooden coffee table; an oversized gold tripod lamp with a barrel shade.    She felt she could trigger a powerful change if she could just replace the trappings of his old life which were so loaded with bad memories — memories from before, in the blink of an eye, it had became apparent to her that Jim was in his final death spiral.  If life looked normal, life could become normal. Denial is a powerful drug, almost as powerful as the liter of Fireball Jim would drink every day, metered out and portioned into little airline-sized bottles so he could retain some semblance of control.  He would hide them in his dresser drawers, outside amongst his tools on the front porch, in the kitchen cabinets, under the bathroom sink.   She would discover them time and time again, after he had promised to her that he would stop.  She would confront him with the evidence each time he betrayed her.  If she could just make him feel an appropriate amount of shame, he would surely see the error of his ways. He had to be drunk all day every day, or he would get the DTs like he had before.  He couldn’t take time off of work to go to rehab, he said; he had already been given a special work-from-home accommodation and was still on the verge of being fired for absenteeism.  And plus, he was running out of days of covered inpatient rehabilitation treatment under Medicare.“

@taterhole

May 14, 2024

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Top Recs from @paras

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my design process includes sobbing uncontrollably

Highly recommend starting every new project with a good cry. Let it out.

@paras

Feb 26, 2024

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becoming my dad

I eagerly participate in conversations only to misspeak. My little sister shared a photo of her new tattoo and the first words out of my mouth were "it's great that it's so small, easy to remove if you ever change your mind."

@paras

Feb 14, 2024

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This my favorite twitter so far

@paras

Jan 26, 2024