Rec | NOTES ON STUMBLING UPON OLD GRIEF

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Rec'd on 🤟 Whats Something you're proud of

Notes on stumbling upon old grief

I wrote this on my substack yesterday and I’m SO proud of it. I love finding the words randomly on a bus somewhere

@sundaygirl

Mar 11, 2024

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It’s stuck with me ever since I first heard it in a Tara Brach course on healing blame and resentment. I remember reading it to my mother on the phone to tell her that I had forgiven her for the immense pain and suffering she had brought me when I was younger, holding back tears until I was sobbing through my words and then we just cried together. She was so grateful to have been redeemed. A beautiful pivotal moment in my life that I never thought could be possible—and I will never forget. 🤍 “One time a man left home. He had argued with his mother and father the day before he left. They spoke horrible words to one another and he left without saying goodbye. He had been gone many years and even spent time in jail. Years later, he finally got out of jail and he wondered if his mother and father were even alive, and if they were ashamed of what had been said and of where he had wound up. He wrote to them and told them he would be coming home on a specific day the following week. If they wanted to see him and were not ashamed they should put a blanket on the clothesline, and he would know to come inside. If the blanket was missing, then he would know that he was not welcomed. He would know to turn back. He told them he hoped they were in good health. The man arrived by rail the next week. He was nervous when he stepped off the train. There was no one there to meet him. He walked up the worn path towards the home place and thought about the past. He thought about his time in jail. He thought about how ashamed his parents must have been. He thought about the horrible words they spoke. He was just about to turn around and go back to where he came when he saw a blanket in a tree. He kept walking and he saw another blanket. He kept walking and he saw another blanket. Then he turned towards home and the house was covered in blankets, the yard was covered in blankets, the clothesline was covered in blankets, the path to the door was covered in blankets. His parents were standing there and they were welcoming him inside.” — Crapalachia: A Biography of Place, Scott McClanahan