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The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️
Mar 16, 2024
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👫take this lil romantic hiatus to invest in the other loved ones in your life. a lot of the pain from a breakup comes from losing the parts of your life that came with the other person - the places you would go, the habits you developed, the role emotionally they played in your life, etc. thing is you can find other folks in your life who can play those roles as well! if you have deep relationships in other areas of your life, the next breakup won't feel like losing a significant part of your life as much as losing one string of a spiderweb of people in your life. go invite friends out for 1 on 1 stuff, do things with big groups, find out what you can do in and of yourself to support yourself. it's easier to date and open yourself up to the risk of being hurt if the proportion of you that you're giving to this person up front isn't so big. you can give them more of the web over time as you grow together.
Apr 1, 2024
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🌀Throughout my past relationships I’ve noticed a pattern where I tend to lose myself. Whether it be to “fit” my partner better or simply just neglecting the things that make me, me, for a period whilst in a relationship. In my time sharing this experience with others, I’ve found that many often relate. I believe that the best thing you can do after a breakup is to become fully in touch with yourself again. My personal outlet happens to be writing, putting all those feelings down pen to paper has been one of the most cathartic things I can do after a breakup. Whether I’m spinning those words into a poem, a story or just a garbled mess of words on a page, I’ve found it really helps. So really, whatever your creative outlet is, dive deeper into that and it will almost always ease the pain.
7h ago
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❤️sometimes you gotta remind yourself why you broke up — even if they broke up with you or it wasn’t mutual etc etc, theres always good reasons even if it’s just “they dumped me” like okay yes and do you want to be with someone who would dump you no (even if maybe it doesn’t feel like that rn). Reminding yourself of the things that make you incompatible helps you 1) process and move forward 2) know what to look for in your next relationship eventually! What were the needs that you always sort of wished they’d met? Interests you wish they’d shared? at some point it will be good to consider all of the good things that were there so you can look for those in the Future but now isn’t that time …
Also:
-Read a long and easy book literally give your brain a break from your thoughts (this always helps me reset)
-spend time with your friends and reconnect with old ones or people you just sort of lost track of because you were in a relationship and didn’t have the social time. Build up other sources of love!
Jun 28, 2025
Top Recs from @sophia
Jan 21, 2024
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👠Adds delusions of grandeur and wealth to my otherwise mundane existence
Jan 21, 2024
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☎️I started one back in 2013 where every year or so (in unpredictable increments) I prank this guy I used to make out with in high school. We don’t keep in touch at all—we only make contact whenever I remember I have to prank him. Invest in the long game and get paid dividends
Dec 15, 2023