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The more I learn, the more I recognize the impossibility of describing, categorizing, and creating a holistic narrative out of life and experience. Applicable to so many fields of study such as linguistics, anthropology, history, philosophy. Granted I’m not a stem person but even within the beauty of those patterns and machinations in mathematics I feel there is something divinely random and unknowable. This idea doesn't make me hopeless. I find the process of capturing this ineffability beautiful.
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Can’t pigeon hole people. I can hold ten thousand identities and feelings at once.
Today I was overwhelmed with the world and my place in it. it all seemed too big and confusing. We live in such heated times where our identities are put on trial. it’s hard to embrace who you are when you are constantly confronting yourself. There seems to be little comfort or sense in any of it.
Then in this online world I’m flooded with every bit if information possible and it keep putting my brain in overdrive. I seem to be loosing myself in it.
But then again Buddism comes through with its view of the self. Fluid and forever changing. Their is no defined or definite self we are our environments and everything we have ever learned and been a part of. This lack of constant on my being seems to calm the confusion on who I am or who I am supposed to be. I am fluid and forever changing.
All I ask of myself is to embrace this, open myself up to this world and explore whatever I can.
Dec 8, 2024
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I recently attended a David Lynch tribute screening of Mulholland Drive (which I have not seen since high school) and really surrendered to the idea of just letting something you don’t understand happen rather than scrambling to make sense of it in the moment. I ended up appreciating the film waaaaayyy more and in turn have tried to implement this idea into my everyday. We don’t let things wash over us enough as we’re all too busy trying to react “correctly“ and immediately as a kind of defense mechanism? I urge you to sit with your confusion more often, make a little home for it in your heart and say it’s okay that you don’t make sense right now you’re safe here <3
Feb 4, 2025
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being open to seeing the small details and beauties of everyday life. I feel like trying to remind myself to view the world this way has helped with both happiness and creativity.
The world is filled with immense emotion and to be able to feel that is beautiful
Dec 19, 2023
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it’s called being discerning and it’s a dying art….
Jan 30, 2024
Feb 20, 2024
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so true and so right… see also looking through your notes app, going through your camera roll, and re reading your own diary.
Mar 10, 2024