In fifth grade I superglued a dollar bill to the ground and my friend and I watched people try to pick it up
Apr 1, 2024
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so at my middle school library, you simply had to write your name on a slip of paper to check out a book. each week our homeroom teacher would read out the titles of overdue books and the names of kids whoâd checked them out. in advance of April fools in 6th grade, I checked out what I considered the weirdest books in the library (stuff like âyour changing bodyâ) under the names of all the boys in my class. my teacher read out the list on April 1 and all the kids were like âwhat!!! I swear I didnât check that out!!â In retrospect I have no idea how this unhinged yet clever idea entered my developing brain
Apr 6, 2024
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The setting is a huge public highschool in Minneapolis. The scene of plenty of viral fight videos (including the infamous hijab snatching)
We bribed a janitor to let us into the school at 1 am. We went from room to room, turning tables and chairs upside down, defacing posters with âSENIOR SZNâ and dumb stuff like that. Before we finished, we decided our final hurrah would be bringing tables and chairs from classrooms to the front entrance to block the main door and the administrative office from entrance. It was like kids in a toy store- free reign over our high school in the dead of night. Ive been chasing the high ever since.
cut to: all parents have to come to an assembly where they sign off on our written apologies to the principal and administrators.
Apr 26, 2024
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And the vice principal paraded me through the campus while loudly berating me and then measured the hemline of my dress as compared to my knee by placing a dollar bill against my thigh. I called my mom crying and she got an article published in the local paper about it with a picture of the outfit I was wearing and âslut shamingâ in the title, exposing their common practice of humiliating girls. I said in the article that a dollar bill is not a measuring implement and that having one placed on my body against my will made me feel like I was being treated like a stripper. The PR nightmare made them stop.
A male teacher with questionable intentions who I later smoked weed with at a party praised me in front of our film class for âfighting the man.â Everyone clapped. We attended a lot of mediation meetings and they were so afraid that we were going to sue that i was able to leverage it to graduate despite being on the precipice of being held back due to failing my classes from not doing work đ I still canât do math to this day
Apr 26, 2024
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Itâs Friday night and Iâm off work late with no plans but I felt like being out in the world, even if for a moment. Turns out, a low stakes glass of orange wine tastes great when youâre waiting for a $10 burrito platter from down the street.
Feb 10, 2024
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Iâve spent so much time scrolling on this app that Iâm able to discern some of your writing voices. There are a couple of you who have such a developed voice that I can guess you wrote a post before seeing the attached username.
Youâre all so observant, introspective, delusional, earnest, anxious, well-rounded, hilarious and loving.
Kind of breaks my heart that Iâll likely never meet some of my favorites because we all live everywhere, but I guess thatâs why we thank God for the Internet!
Mar 12, 2024