My very first memory is a super duper random moment, stumbling over a rope bridge at a playground with my dad in my birth town, only memory there when I must have been around 2 years old.
Remember feeling somewhat confused, but beyond this momentary image no other associations with it.
I always wondered why this random ass moment was chosen to be so engrained in my brain and if it was maybe a precursor or aftermath to something else that was impactful enough to have made me register that- well if there was it did a good job hiding.
In the end the symbol of both being on wonky, maybe unusual/unsteady pathways and the confusion associated with it came to be very familiar feeling for me early on in life, which I guess didn’t make it such a random memory after all.
Apr 14, 2024
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Ok this is pretty depressing, but i also find it really interesting. The first memory I can remember from the inside is when I was in the playground when I was 7. I was telling someone (I can’t even remember who) that my mum had cancer but that “she’s going to be ok though”. I remember knowing that no one had actually told me she would be ok, but that that was an extra bit I myself had added. I’m not totally sure if I even really understood what the concept of her being not ok would really involve, but I remember knowing that that was what people would want to hear and that I should add it for myself. I have some earlier memories than this, but none that include thought process so fully. It’s weird how the thought process feels the same as it does now, rather than feeling childlike, it feels the same as a thought process would feel now and I find that fascinating. I don’t know whether that moment would have stuck so strongly had my mother actually been ok, or whether it was knowing in hindsight that my lie had set up an incorrect expectation that made me feel weird about it? Who knows, but interesting nonetheless. I also find it interesting because nearly all my memories from that time are in the playground, and nearly none at home, which I imagine is my brain protecting itself. thanks brain, love you.
Apr 2, 2024
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sometimes i let myself sink into a memory after going stream of consciousness for a bit. other times i go into a sit specifically wanting to describe a certain one or describing one memory leads me to remember another one.
i love trying to go into as much sensory detail as possible as well as trying to remember other details (what they were wearing, where they were standing, what someone said, how that made me feel, etc.)
it feels like following a mysterious thread through a maze and trusting that you'll be surprised by where you end up.
4d ago
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the memories you described are so vivid for you because these are likely the formative experiences with those things that marked your first conscious interactions with them. as your child self this was an automatic process, but if you are intentional in approaching your current experiences with this same perspective, it could be enlightening.
maybe you stop to notice the taste of a favorite food, what was it about the flavor that first drew you to it? maybe listen a bit harder to that one song, which lyric/melody/progression draws you out of passive listening. in general, more active observation and attention to your senses will provide you with new connections to the things that might have become mundane, as you've interacted with them so frequently that your mind numbs you them
Feb 22, 2024
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Yep, my great-grandfather was one of the most famous scientists/ constructors in Mongolia, famously dubbed ‘king of the ice’ for his contributions to provide improved food storage possibilities to the country, travelling every corner of it.
He grew up in a poor nomadic village before going to the capital and starting to study there somehow, a very impressive feat given that Mongolia in those days was so extremely poor and terrorized by Russia that that was usually a privilege reserved to the wealthy.
He earned a great fortune that all of his children managed to squander within a few years, but his anniversary is still being celebrated every year publicly to this day.
There are even biographies written about him, in the more recent ones a family photo where he holds me as a tiny baby in his arms.
Apr 15, 2024
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You can literally make a woman cum by stimulating her boobs/ nipples only and the fact that most of y’all haven’t ever gotten that far (talking about men mostly) should make you seriously reconsider your choices in life.
Apr 16, 2024
NYC, drama, hope and wistfulness in one majestically written Magnus opum. Whole life story of four friends and their entanglements. First book that actually shook me to tears and laughter. Cannnot recommend enough.
Those characters stayed with me for a very long time.
Apr 15, 2024