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This world is a life sentence. I’m in a state of constant, low grade agitation. Crust gathered around my eyelids like dead weeds in the summer sun. I’m sitting in the line for the COSTCO gasoline station in Van Nuys, CA as I type this. It’s hot and stifling and the malformed waddler phenotype directly in front of me can’t for the life of her get her COSTCO card to read at the scanner. I’m seething, seething in my non-air conditioned 2005 Toyota Solara. It occurs to me that when the government decides to suspend the constitution & institute mass incarcerations, they won’t even need to erect FEMA camps. I’m thinking forced relocation of insurgent population to COSTCO’s around the country. it won’t even be forced. We’ll all just move in & relish the the opportunity to finally, holistically Live in Bulk™️ . In this moment, when being a total misanthrope comes as easily, as urgently as reaching for the glass of water on the floor next to the mattress (also on the floor), I can’t help but think to myself “the narrator from my year of rest & relaxation is literally me”.
Fun, easy breezy read. Made me lol a couple of times. Middle part drags a bit, but the ending’s brilliant. late to the party on this one, but glad I finally got around to it
Apr 16, 2024
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I know I know. The memes and all that shit but if imma hate something I need to peep it first (always been this way, true hater shit). Picked it up just to check it out and there were some genuinely really funny parts. It wasn’t that bad. Dragged little in the middle, can’t lie, but damn I didn’t expect it to be as sad as it was at some parts. Like damn man all this money, enough to let you do whatever you want, and you just wanna sleep all day? Super depressing in my eyes. It wasn’t as bad as people say it is. Ottessa Moshfegh got a pen on her, the awards make sense. If you gonna hate on it check it out. Be a true hater and have some substance to that hate.
Oct 19, 2024
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For months since the start of the pandemic, I’ve had trouble getting back into reading for pleasure. I graduated from my Master’s program in May 2020, and was experiencing a lot of literary fatigue… I was studying medieval English literature, and had been up to my ears in readings for months, so I think at the end of it all I was just incredibly burnt out. This book changed that. Set in a post-Covid, semi-fictionalized version of Palm Beach, it’s incredibly fun, and just of-the-moment enough to feel like an inside joke for our times, without veering into the hyper-current or crinegworthy.
Apr 15, 2021
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try and wish as i might to dislodge the opening sentence from the corner of permanency of my brain, it won't shift. because it's just that good. so delicious and juicy and evocative and rhythmic that every time i peel open the well-loved, well-worn, well-aged copy of the book, i am unable to stop reading at just that first line.
'It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn't know what I was doing in New York.'
at once it's hot and sticky and bad things are in the air and it's all whimsical and meandering and at lost. i am there on the sidewalk, melting into the cement, unsure of it all.
Feb 17, 2025
Top Recs from @steelyfan1998
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sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .
Feb 24, 2025
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This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me.
My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all.
I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time.
Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby.
I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me.
It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025
Mar 4, 2025