I wish I knew why, but the following has worked for me:
-A lot of people say to just go to stuff but it does work! Finding an event that is relevant to your interests, and going solo guarantees a good time - you’ll either have a chill time by yourself or will get to chatting with other people that went alone too. I went to an art studio opening party because they had a build your own flower bouquet arrangement set up, with a still life drawing session of your bouquet afterward. I made a lovely friend who went alone too! Even if I didn’t meet anyone, it wouldn’t be a lost cause because I still went to something that was enjoyable for me on my own.
-Maybe more of a deeper cut option that’s not always possible, but I’ve also met folks that are friends of friends. Having that person in common does make things a lot easier.
Wishing you the best of luck! 🤠
Apr 18, 2024
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ive met some wonderful people by just showing up to an event of some kind by myself and simply approaching people. a lot of the time you dont even need to approach someone because something happens nearby that you both can bond over. i. e. i met a very kind couple at a concert bc some guy next to me was being weird and rowdy, and they stepped in to shield me! how nice! and we still keep up with eachother.
obviously, you have to keep your wits about you and make sure someone you do know knows where you are, but really what im getting at is this:
simply by being around people, you will meet people. just have fun with it and be bold, and when you DO meet people, you have to keep up the effort in following up a couple times to keep the conversation flowing. 🦋
Feb 2, 2025
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Still love to, am just a mother so it’s not as often.
I think a big part of it is having open energy. Keep your head up, keep your eyes open. Look around. Make eye contact with people. Smile. You don’t have to have anything really witty to say, but the more observing you are the easier it will be to find a way in to having conversations. It also makes things more enjoyable if you don’t end up finding anyone that you really connect with. It’s fun to just be around people and watch (I say as an ESFP lol). But, it’s surprisingly easy to just join a convo or add your two cents. I’m fidgety so I like having a non alcoholic drink in hand.
I’d say, if your reason for going is to see the artist, don’t sweat about connecting. Just have as much fun as you can once they start!!
It’s really a confidence boost to go out and do things alone and still have a good time!
Jun 23, 2024
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Join groups. Not paid classes. I think people often show up to paid classes with a friend or two, and are just generally more focussed on themselves and their little project considering they literally gave up money to be there.
Instead: Find something like a community garden, a co-op supermarket, a mutual-aid volunteer group, an arts collective, the board of a local hospital or community center etc. People show up at these things alone...and if they show up with a friend, it is unlikely they BOTH will like it and have the time and desire to keep showing up. If you like it, and show up 2 or 3 times, you will get to know the other people who keep showing up! I feel like I am describing this poorly, but I have made meaningful connections with people in these settings and never from a bar or an event meant to meet people. Also, maybe we are different, but I am more interested in someone who takes time to put themself in this setting than someone who is at a bar at 2am. Quirky people are cool.
Other thoughts:
- Agree that consistency is key. I've read before that connection comes from being spontaneously in the same place at the same time over and over (not from planning rigid hangouts and putting them on your calendar a month out). I guess this manifests by becoming a regular at a cafe or a library branch or a park or joining a group like the ones above. Keep your eyes up and talk to the people who also show up over and over. (It's mot easy, I need to start doing this, I have many people I see over and over and chicken out about talking to.)
- I sometimes target people I want to get to know....lol. Did they mention in passing they want to try X meal at Y restaurant? (Regardless of how you started talking). Great I'm gonna text them in 2 days from now and invite them to that plan. From putting in 0 effort to making friends in college, and paying for it, I now realize you need to be aggressive sometimes about asking people to plans, and those who are open and available and sociable will say yes, and maybe they'll ask you to hang next time!
- The root of this is just talking to 923789 people and figuring out who is awake alert and attentive, so you have to find someone who isn't obsessed with their status quo, and who is willing to sit down at lunch with a stranger and shoot the shit. Circling back, I have found these people via community groups.
I was really excited to think about this ask because I think people take close connections of all types for granted sometimes. Hope I said something worth anything.
Mar 16, 2024
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