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i imagine myself in a desert wearing a suit, and the thought is lit up in big neon lights, under an oil black sky. and i shoot it to fucking pieces , my gun gleaming in my hands
And it works some of the time . Lately when I feel like I need sanctuary I go to ihop. For awhile the one by my house was only open til 9. 9 o clock! That’s unreal. How about my shift ends at 8 and I wanna wallow for 2 hours, write in my diary like some feverish lunatic and drink neverending coffee? But it’s back to midnight, so that rules. The closest 24 hour diner is in Seattle (also an ihop) but it’s usually packed , even on a weekday. i think the emptiness of a diner makes All the difference. Im too scared of church, so ihop’s the next best thing.
Apr 25, 2024
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thus far my “all-nighter” as the kids like to call em has proven successful…i made it to the 24 hour coffee stand. my drink is bitter, i can feel a couple hairs growing on my chest. I just might make it past 6am. Almost referenced Chris Chan referencing Star Trek but it’s for the best that I didn’t. the moon’s sitting pretty, and her allure nearly tricked me into getting my fix from DENNY’s..if only to add a little mischief to my night, by reason of staying out longer. Though im allowed to. I’m a big kid, I drive a car. but I nearly fell victim to that heavenly body and her treacherous spell..dennys has piss-thin coffee, and no crepes. I can’t commit adultery in my diner-marriage to ihop.. besides, my lil piece on the side is a role reserved for shari’s.. I’m listening to hatebreed. I like it when he yells .
Apr 27, 2024
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i mean i think this is pretty self explanatory thankfully.
Feb 4, 2025
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I typed this as I was working in a coffee shop. Idk, there’s something really under appreciated about working in a coffee shop. You can people-watch and it’s meditative af. Two of my favorite things in one. Plus a little drink and a snack whenever you want.
Feb 29, 2024
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I fucking love it
IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN ILL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME
PAPA PAPARAZIIIIIII
May 5, 2024
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Like a dear friend . I miss how when I would smoke a cigarette it would settle into my hair , blanketing a preexisting layer of perfume. I love the way smoke seeps into the fabric of my car, my clothes, even into my skin. Smells like my parents, my grandparents. Our old house. Dads gold Lincoln towncar that we got shot at in. And last time I saw one of those, I was picking dad up from jail, and its license plate read TRULOVE.
Dec 14, 2024
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Loneliness prevails! I would much rather live purely in solitude for ever and ever than waste another precious second in the presence of someone who has little skin in the game of knowing me or seeing me. Hearing me! I wonder why you keep me around if all your hearts desire is to hear the sound of your own voice.
It makes no difference if it’s me or anyone for that matter.
For all you know or even care I am merely an ottoman for you to rest your feet on, or a coffee table meant simply to pedestal your various notebook scrawlings and half-read books. I am a file cabinet. I have it here, dated, what you Thought and what you felt about work, or about your friends. ask me, I have it all.
And I loved it. I loved knowing you. I wanted to. I investigated and interrogated. I poured over it all with great curiosity, praying for all my red threads to weave a tapestry of you.
but I can’t remember the last time you asked me something about myself. When the opportunity arises, and god forbid, I Take it, you can barely hold your breath. Its like a shark sensing blood. You just can’t wait to talk talk talk talk talk.
But hey, it’s your life, and baby, I’m just living in it.
Dec 10, 2024