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inspired by mdoinurmom 's post about visiting the west coast (glad u enjoyed ur stay btw!!)
given how 10 year and 20 year nostalgia cycles work with coast envy, it seems that, in conjunction with everybody's dream city shifting from los angeles to new york city, the ire has shifted from people saying la isn't all it's cracked up to be to saying the same about new york. which obviously gives me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite topics: what california is actually like™️©️®️
now obviously, every place has its problems. however, as someone who's lived here my whole life, i can tell you the people who give this place the worst impression to others are usually transplants who came for very shallow reasons ("get rich quick" type stuff). i've heard friends of mine on the east coast say that it's pretty similar with gentrifiers who come over there for similar reasons
generally, unlikable people flock to other unlikeable people, because said people came for similar reasons. so their impression of la (or anywhere they go) is social climbers & fake people bc that's who they are, what they came to do, and who they surround themselves with
meanwhile, irl, that is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of what california is actually like. both bc that experience doesn't reflect most regular california natives, but also the fact that california, even just southern california by proxy, is HUGE. there are so many different micro cultures depending on where you go, going to a different city can sometimes feel like going to a different country. the differences between northern california and southern california in particular are staggering
n ee waze i'm biased obviously but i love this place, i've been here my whole life and i'll stay until my ashes wash away into the sea
(genuine emotion up there ^^. gross)
Related Recs
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sorta a weird rec but as a born and bread easter coast city cad and self identified (although widely disputed) new englander, i feel like i was always opposed to the west coast bc i felt like it was for posers and rich people but idk something flipped in my brain recently. this isn’t even a rec atp but i think that for a while la was the it city and so i never wanted to go bc nyc was for real people (wtv that means) and now that nyc is the cool city (at least on certain digital spaces) ive become more atuned to things that i dismissed in the past. like people are try hards and social climbers and a little performativly high maintenance. anyway my point is is that i spent the last week in socal and found it very refreshing! i don’t think socal is flawless or devoid of the same issues the city has but people feel a little more free to be ambitious. like socal really bodied with their whole city of dreams thing. k enough being honest on the internet for now.
Apr 29, 2024
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here’s my misc thoughts lol i’m no expert but this is from my POV as someone who’s lived here full time a bit and grew up visiting all the time. firstly, you’re def right that it is expensive — nearly impossible to relocate to if you don’t have a job secured and aren’t rich. even moreso if you have never visited or have only done one super tourist-y visit--it’s not just Times Square and Statue of Liberty (love her tho) rainbows and butterflies vibes lol.
like i seriously do not recommend moving here if you haven’t been to other boroughs, and neighborhoods outside of Midtown, SoHo, FiDi, UES etc. i’ve never been to england so can’t speak to it bit you might find it helpful to look online for comparisons to cities you’ve spent more time in - london and other cities in europe perhaps. consider if NYC would be that much more exciting or “better” for you?
also there’s a huge issue of influencers and people who wanna live here impulsively for fun that has driven up rent and driven out lifetime residents, esp working class folks and people of color. (lots of writing out there on the difference between moving to any city vs gentrifying one, and what one can do to not be complicit in the latter). and, my family is from here and i have always loved the city; i did get a job here after graduation but i really wouldn’t have moved here if i hadn’t.
so definitely come here intentionally, and arrive with a willingness to engage with your community! sometimes new residents who aren’t as acquainted with the “real” new york and can’t afford apts in the more gentrified or historically wealthy areas (most of manhattan, some parts of brooklyn) have a misconception of the city, so they end up feeling awkward or “unsafe” where they live, and thus don’t give back to their neighborhood. it’s veryyy weird that some people move here only to go to work, eat out and party on the weekends. (not saying this is you ofc! but just a general note).
the irony is that NYers get a bad rep for the mind your own business culture and realness--and yeah NYers aren’t “nice”, but people are kind. folks care about and actively help out their neighbors. i saw this in my own fam growing up! and as sinatra himself once said: “if i can make it here, i’ll make it anywhere.” it is a tough place to “make it” for people without roots. but i’d never deny that new york, for many of us, lives up to its reputation as the so-called greatest city in the world ;)
Aug 30, 2024
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Being in LA is like living in constant dystopia. It’s a multitude of pockets of both good and bad. My experience is a love/hate relationship, but you learn so much about yourself just existing in this space. It’s not home for me, but I’m glad to have stopped by.
May 29, 2024
Top Recs from @el_ugh
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or junk journaling, if you'd like to not perpetuate myths about crows liking to collect trinkets. i just think it sounds cuter
weirdly, as someone who's a writer, i've never really been good at or liked journaling. every planner i've ever owned has remained empty. if i try to write something any time other than when the fancy strikes me, it just feels inauthentic, like i'm trying too hard. this has been the first time journaling actually felt like it had a purpose for me, and actually felt weirdly therapeutic
basically, it's just anything i can recycle, i make into a page. i like a common theme, so places i've visited, media i like, similar aesthetics, emotions i'm feeling. and then we get the qr code page & i'm reminded that this is probably the quintessential depiction of what scoring 121 on the RAADS-R looks like
eh, i'm having fun🤷♀️
Apr 16, 2024
"ꀤ ꌃꍟ꒒ꀤꍟꃴꍟ ꀤꈤ ꍏ ꀎꈤꀤꃴꍟꋪꌗꍟ ꓄ꃅꍏ꓄ ꀸꂦꍟꌗꈤ'꓄ ꉓꍏꋪꍟ ꍏꈤꀸ ꉣꍟꂦꉣ꒒ꍟ ꅏꃅꂦ ꀸꂦ"
mae borowski returns to her hometown of possum springs, and with her return comes some long-time-coming reunions and unsolved mysteries
this game broke me
played it the week it came out back in 2017, and in hit me in that way some media does where it comes at a point in your life where it feels all too specific to your circumstances and it opens wounds you didn't even know went that deep. this shit felt like the therapy session you needed but reeeeally didn't want to go to. healing and hurtful, all at once
also just happens to be extremely funny. it's a very specific kind of humor, where even in the rare moments it doesn't land, it still lands because the circumstances around it make it all the funnier. something as simple as a too-long pause in the dialogue will have me in stitches
deserves all the love in the world, and it will forever have my whole heart. WITCHDAGGAH
Apr 19, 2024
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in agreement with mouse nitw soup rema see
also agree with them that definitely limbo or inside will scratch the little nightmares itch, arguably playdead's games are a big inspiration for little nightmares.
depending on what you're into (more story or more gameplay heavy) for story. i cannot recommend "what remains of edith finch" enough. just a true gem and some of the best of interactive storytelling
for gameplay i love the witness, hi fi rush, and neon white. all very different, but maybe you'll find something you'll like
for a mix if both, disco elysium. dialogue HEAVY, but based in like ttrpg systems, it's really fun. REALLY long though, like maybe put aside some time to crack that one open lol
Apr 19, 2024