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ever since 11th grade i have wanted to make films
i find them beautiful, artistic, complicated and horrifying all at once
i have always had a problem with self doubt and underestimating my abilities but any time i do something related to film i do it with love, fierce devotion and hard work and it still amazes me that the work i do comes out great every time
i know that i could never ever do anything else with my life
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I directed my first short film that took three years to write and I feel like me again
You are allowed to be weird about it too
May 22, 2024
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Directed by first short film this spring and I’m in the process of editing it now. Or rather working with my talented friend and editor to bring the screenplay I wrote to life. It’s been a summer of moving through it, like intentionally not getting bogged down by things that make me want to give up.
Everyone on my team and other filmmakers I chat with say that the most important thing is to ultimately release this film into the world because that’s the only way you’ll really learn and improve but, of course, that’s absolutely terrifying.
So I ride my bike and do some yoga and hang with my friends and try to just move through that fear which I suppose is how I’ve been with most of my emotional life this summer: receiving an emotion, letting it crash through me, and allowing it to recede back into the ocean of it all. It’s been a really good summer. All in all, I’m super proud to even be here.
Aug 13, 2024
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i don't have degree/exp or sum. but i've always wanted to do all creative things i like, wanted to live like an artist. i rent a cheap office and listened people for order of advertising agency (it also was founded by me and my brother lol). it looked like that movie scenes when characters also assign a casting and all freaks come... some people are very motivated and inspired! i want to ask some of them to shoot music videos and smth (i'm also musician) do you think they'll like that?
i realized if you're broke or from nowhere you still may do what you like and you can come place you dreamed about. i really feel that i can do everything...
Oct 28, 2024
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using A.I. for art instead of using it to fix problems such as poverty, climate change etc is fucking weird
art is a way people cope with human existence and express feelings as well as share and pass down culture
why tf is A.I. in the mix
its weird to me
Jun 2, 2024
i like to wear lipstick on my upper lip but not the bottom
its v rare when i do
i been doing this since HS honestly and i love it
Jun 19, 2024
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TW: drugs and psychosis
i was in active addiction 4 years ago and was going on a 4 day streak of a bender
where i decided to go to a party do meth (ik) and drink and smoke (more) weed
i was so out of it that when i had to leave
(never drive UTI) it looked like i was driving through a forest under water
when i got back to my friends place her mom said their family cat (who was v old) was dying and she wanted us to say good to him
when i looked at the cat it looked like it was turned inside out and its inside were rotting
i felt sick to my stomach and hid in her room where i began to question everything
what i had seen, what i was doing, and finally who i was and if the thoughts i had were mine or someone else's- it was a lot
it was from there i kinda realized there was more and now im here
sober and a changed woman
the end
Jul 5, 2024