i wrote a poem about this when i was still juvenile in my journey of writing poems but i personify fear like that and it's always nice to personify emotions so that they live in my mindspace BUT what if they turn sentient and AI gets to extract them and make them alive!!!!!
May 9, 2024
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because I simply know too much. But I do also fear that faeries will entice me into their world and I’ll forget that I shouldn’t eat their food because it looks so good and then I’ll become trapped there forever.
In my first appointment with my beloved former therapist I told her I don’t like to keep a diary because what if my work is published posthumously against my will like Emily Dickinson or Franz Kafka and she went ‘hmm imagined audience’ as she scribbled notes.
Every time I feel an unfamiliar sensation in my body I have to talk myself down from thinking I’m dying but I’ve gotten pretty skilled at beating that one back.
I’m still pretty afraid of ovens to this day after seeing my mom light her hair on fire while pulling a turkey out—TWICE!
Apr 23, 2024
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my greatest fear is existing but never living, if that makes sense - me, i guess
Feb 7, 2024
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I must not fear
Fear is the mind killer
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration
I will face my fear
I will permit it to pass over me and through me
And when it has gone pass, I will turn the inner eye to see its path
And where the fear has gone, there will be nothing
Only I will remain
Aug 6, 2024
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my name also has eleven letters. all my siblings were born on the eleventh of their birth months too. some people say we are part of a conspiracy.
Aug 2, 2024
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knowing that i'm going to die makes me want to live? savour every moment. the sweetest release of all is the catharsis of my body leaving the earth.
also, sleep. sleep is happiness. to be able to let my soul rip apart from my body and explore the world i cannot see.
May 15, 2024
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i might not know how i'd wanna spend the rest of my life, because i think i'd be okay to die at any moment knowing i've loved as much as i can, to myself and the people/surroundings that matter the most.
but the least i can offer you is this virtual hug 🫂
take care darling, spend some time in introspection. maybe you'll find something so so beautiful buried deep within you, as dark as it seems, in preparation for death.
Jul 26, 2024