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my friend is taking brazilian drumming class, and i saw him play in a parade today. it was so cute, so make sure you go to your friend’s rec league soccer game or beginner’s ballet showcase, tell them their pottery is good (even if it isn’t), and buy those earrings they started making from clay in COVID. go to as many of their gigs as you can, especially the one in that far ass neighborhood that most people won’t show up for. there’s something so mutually enriching about celebrating people in all the small moments, not just the big ones. looking back, all the small things were the ones that meant the most.
May 19, 2024

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Think: driving them to the airport during rush hour, moving furniture on a summer day, (in my case, see photo) cutting away at their badly overgrown garden when you are not a gardening gal. Or painting their bedroom on a whim, replacing their windshield fluid, or wrangling their demon cat for a trip to the vet. I read a Manrepeller article (RIP) years ago that talked about how helping friends with these tedious, unrewarding tasks is where the real work of friendship begins. You don’t get so see how they get frustrated over brunch, but you do when you’re both unsuccessfully dragging a couch around a staircase corner, and getting To bond and troubleshoot that frustration opens whole new doors for closeness. This wisdom has never led me astray! I almost always leave these kinds of labor-based hangouts feeling closer and more held in friendship!
Apr 6, 2024
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one of my exes got me a pair of sneakers like, very shortly before we broke up so i kept them in their original box in the closet before i ever got to wear them for like, a whole year before i started dating my current partner and she said she liked them a lot and that i should absolutely wear them - now they’re not “my exe’s shoes”, they’re “the shoes my partner likes” i think it’s really nice when that happens organically, but you can definitely push the needle forward yourself if need be; do a listening party for that album with your friends, watch that show or movie with your siblings, expand the circle of trust around <thing> so it belongs to more people, and in turn it’ll belong to you more than it did when it was just you and the person who introduced you to it
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Being around great friends allows us to be our *truest selves*, which unlocks inspiration. I love giving feedback to my best friend on his projects, it means so much.
Feb 2, 2025

Top Recs from @sitara

all the baristas know your order and compliment your nails and an 81-year-old man who’s been around the neighborhood way longer than the coffee shop says “fuggedaboutit” unironically, gives you life advice, calls your ex a “schmuck,” and says “be good, kid” when you leave. cannot recommend enough.
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