It is wonderful. You can Indulge in fantasy undisturbed by reality. You can choose to live in fantasy, the two are so far away . It is amazingly broken and my heart hurts with anticipation, want & fulfillment . 1/3 of relationships with people are with your Idea of that person anyway.
today I serendipitously bumped into him whilst he was on his way to the library and my heart, devoid of its own volition, trembled. And it was beautiful because over the weekend, where I did not see him, I had completely forgotten about him and considered the whole thing to be a farce. Then I saw him. And eveyrhtinf gave out!!! How insane.