I began my 21st year with my head in the toilet of a man I was seeing. He held my hair back as I repeatedly wailed “why don’t you want to be with meeeee”. Barely anyone had turned up to my party earlier. That year had many such sad moments like this, but it also transitioned into one of the most fun times of my life. I had a really bad depressive episode, but it was the first time I’d felt really heard by my family went home for an bit to be looked after, I also had a best friend at uni, Alice who looked after me so well and we’re still friends today. Eventually I graduated uni and I moved in with one of my best friends, Rohan. We worked at a bar together and the people at that bar became my family for a while, I stayed in Sheffield my uni town for 5 more years because of that bar. we still meet up a couple times a year for a reunion. I had purple hair and I was drunk a lot, I cried a lot, I had so much anxiety, I wrote essentially nothing but I read more than I had in the 3 years of uni prior to it. I had so much fun working at that bar, I met so many people and danced so much. slept with far too many musicians which was often traumatic but means I have some great stories and I learnt a lot about myself. 21 is really hard, but it’s also really fun, and it all counts and it all means something. I look back at 21 year old me with so much love and compassion, one day you will feel the same about yourself and you’ll be so proud of that person.
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to preface, i actually know a lot of people who had an amazing time being 21! i think most of the lows were due to poor decision-making and bad luck in my love life which can happen at any age 🙈 at the same time i still hosted and attended a lot of cool events and parties; i tried new things and made some amazing friends; i lived on my own for the first time that summer and had a few cool academic accomplishments! so despite the trauma and heartbreak lol, i learned SO so much about myself and the world which i am grateful for. ❤️🩹
also, what i do think is a common experience for many 21 year olds is having a lot of growth through that year, which is never a bad thing!
Jun 11, 2024
i was 21 in 2018 - which i feel like was a great year overall.
my boyfriend and i had just started dating, so we spent that whole summer falling in love - he worked at a bar and i would go see him every night and we would hang out there after everyone left until sunrise. those are some of my best memories!
i had bright pink/bleached hair and was in a really confident place in my life - i felt good with my personal style, my body image, my mental health. i was working a barista job that i really enjoyed, and living with my roommates (now best friends!) in the best apartment ever.
i was in the 2nd/3rd year of my bachelor’s and really enjoying my studies and creative projects, got involved with my student climate justice protests, and just really enjoyed the social life of being in university.
looking back today, what i miss most about being 21 is how much i knew myself. i lost a lot of that confidence over the years and i often look back to that time as a marker of where i would like to get back. i was just better at having fun - and i think that’s exactly was 21 is for.
take risks! trust your intuition! have FUN!
Jun 11, 2024
I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick.
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is.
x
Jun 12, 2024
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I used to be envious of people who had “MySpace friends” or “tumblr friends”. Now I have PI.FYI friends. Thank you capyboppy for your lovely letter and this illustration of a capybara and a mouse with fruit on our heads, it made me weirdly emotional ❤️
Jun 11, 2024
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is gig etiquette dead? Don’t go to a gig if you wanna just talk to your mates! go to a pub it’s what they’re for!
Dec 8, 2024
IT'S OUT MY RECORD IS OUT I LITERALLY AM CRYING. The culmination of 4 plus years of work. I'm...gonna go to bed now!
May 3, 2024