i decided to go back even though i had no money, and felt like "it was too late for me" (im literally only 26), and i am still living with my parents
but thanks to deciding to go, i am now graduating at the end of this month, i have a job lined up after and my creativity and confidence has NEVER been as high as it is rn (not even when i was in HS tbh)
best biggest decision ever
that and deciding to go swimming in a under ground river knowing i have claustrophobia- i showed my man i was basically fearless that day and i am now the alpha
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the feeling of, after dreaming about it your whole life, getting into college and planning to move out of my parents house is so crazy, a couple of years ago this was just dreams and impossible thoughts but now IM ACTUALLY DOING IT ITS SO INCREDIBLE
Jan 26, 2025
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still in college right now. i grew up with parents i felt were pretty strict so being able to move away was good and bad. with such a new sense of freedom i kind of lost it and partied more than i could handle. my grades took a tumble, but i was the happiest i had ever been. obviously, my parents were not happy with that and i really had lock in on academics. although this new party lifestyle kind of caused a unnecessary amount of stress, i wouldn't change how i handled this at all. through this whirlwind of nights out, i met my closest friends and really discovered myself. my university has a large music scene and most of the parties i went to were also house shows. while i have severely grown out of the crazy partying, i still end up at these functions as a photographer for the artists or clubs throwing the events! i wouldn't have discovered my passion for photography without exploring the music scene the way when i first got here.
Jan 21, 2025
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on the same note with concerts: being in the pit actually sucked for me, i was more focused on not getting my hair pulled and being able to breathe than enjoying the show, and i couldn’t see anything due to the height of the stage. ended up having the best time from the sidelines
anyway, overrated: losing virginity
underrated: starting over. i’ve had to start over again a couple of times (finishing uni, quitting jobs, changing career paths, etc.), it’s been scary but exciting and worth it so far
Apr 17, 2024
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using A.I. for art instead of using it to fix problems such as poverty, climate change etc is fucking weird
art is a way people cope with human existence and express feelings as well as share and pass down culture
why tf is A.I. in the mix
its weird to me
Jun 2, 2024
i like to wear lipstick on my upper lip but not the bottom
its v rare when i do
i been doing this since HS honestly and i love it
Jun 19, 2024
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TW: drugs and psychosis
i was in active addiction 4 years ago and was going on a 4 day streak of a bender
where i decided to go to a party do meth (ik) and drink and smoke (more) weed
i was so out of it that when i had to leave
(never drive UTI) it looked like i was driving through a forest under water
when i got back to my friends place her mom said their family cat (who was v old) was dying and she wanted us to say good to him
when i looked at the cat it looked like it was turned inside out and its inside were rotting
i felt sick to my stomach and hid in her room where i began to question everything
what i had seen, what i was doing, and finally who i was and if the thoughts i had were mine or someone else's- it was a lot
it was from there i kinda realized there was more and now im here
sober and a changed woman
the end
Jul 5, 2024