The days I don’t want to kill myself are extraordinary. Deep bass. All the people in the streets waiting for their high fives and leaping, I mean leaping, when they see me. I am the sun-filled god of love. Or at least an optimistic under-secretary. There should be a word for it. The days you wake up and do not want to slit your throat. Money in the bank. Enough for an iced green tea every weekday and Saturday and Sunday! It’s like being in the armpit of a Hammond B3 organ. Just reeks of gratitude and funk. The funk of ages. I am not going to ruin my love’s life today. It’s like the time I said yes to gray sneakers but then the salesman said Wait. And there, out of the back room, like the bakery’s first biscuits: bright-blue kicks. Iridescent. Like a scarab! Oh, who am I kidding, it was nothing like a scarab! It was like bright. blue. fucking. sneakers! I did not want to die that day. Oh, my God. Why don’t we talk about it? How good it feels. And if you don’t know then you’re lucky but also you poor thing. Bring the band out on the stoop. Let the whole neighborhood hear. Come on, Everybody. Say it with me nice and slow    no pills  no cliff  no brains on the floor Bring the bass back.    no rope  no hose  not today, Satan. Every day I wake up with my good fortune and news of my demise. Don’t keep it from me. Why don’t we have a name for it? Bring the bass back. Bring the band out on the stoop. Hallelujah!
Jul 4, 2024

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I wanna publish 'zines And rage against machines I wanna pierce my tongue It doesn't hurt, it feels fine The trivial sublime I'd like to turn off time And kill my mind You kill my mind, mind Paranoia, paranoia Everybody's coming to get me Just say you never met me I'm running underground with the moles, digging holes Hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring But if you're bored, then you're boring The agony and the irony, they're killing me (whoa)
May 26, 2024
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The first single from Winter Boyfriend from the upcoming album set a, frankly, very different note. 'anx/bodies' is an outlier for us, musically and lyrically, but when putting the final touches to the album it was one of the songs that people seemed instinctively to engage with if they weren't broadly invested in our main thing, essentially indie/indie-punk made by a would-be emo band. At the very least it provoked a reaction. It's a song inspired by a very specific series of events but is not specifically autobiographical. Outside of the world of this song i am much less forward about sex. I enjoy being 'too much' with friends but i really don't want it going anywhere my family might hear it. Repression is fun! I often wonder if that's similar to what actors feel when doing nudity or whatever. It's a case of, "I don't want to know you've seen me experience that?" Anyway, honesty can help in art, but also maybe so too does a little internal repression. It was written about a memory of going to a university disco, arriving at the club where everyone was looking hot and cool, and i suddenly becoming very aware of my inability to be calm. It is essentially about over-stimulation and amorousness and the confusion of that smashing like a wrecking ball through any semblance of chill i might have had. The verse bass riff is really old, easily over 10 years old. I wrote it for a different project, a Death From Above 1979 rip-off thing, and my pal Martin played bass, while i sang and drummed. The song was unremarkable but the riff was cool. There was no way i wasn't keeping it. Also, it explains why it's the only song that uses a fuzz bass tone. Yet. I have no idea when i came up with the guitar riff but it's one of my favourite parts i've written. It's rythmic and a little bit dissonant, but i think the G# implies an E Major chord, making it A minor natural (sorry music theory experts, probably butchering this). I was also unsure if i could allow myself to write the chorus which used power chords. It always feels too basic. But it worked in the context of the song. I finished it years ago aside from a few lyrical tweaks and the introduction sound (chord played, tremolo arm depressed as it fades out, recorded and reversed). Also when mixing the song my references were very different and included a lot of 00s and 10s music, including bands that have been grandfathered into the whole 'indie-sleaze' thing, and it made me realise the second verse needed, nay demanded!, a cowbell and some percussion (the other percussion is drumming on glass bottles fyi). I feel like 'anx/bodies', and the song that follows it, 'on our way home', are two sides of the same coin. One uptight, repressed yet explosive, and the other unrelenting, desperate and flailing. You could almost imagine the latter being later in the same night, getting existential when worse-for-wear. More on that one later.
Jun 19, 2024
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TWO  SLABS OF CLASSIC DOWNTOWN MINIMALISM FROM THE LONG TIME PHILIP GLASS ENSEMBLE MEMBER.  I WRITE THIS TO YOU STATIONED AT AN ALBANIAN CAFE IN TORONTO’S EAST END. THEY HAVE MASSIVE 4K SCREENS SHOWING THE PRODUCTION OF SAVORY CRÊPES IN GROTESQUE DIGITAL DETAIL. THERE IS AN EDM COVER OF LINKIN PARK’S “NUMB” PLAYING. WHAT A HIDEOUS DESCRIPTION.  BUT I RETURN DAILY.  THEY PULL ESPRESSO SHOTS WITH CREMA THAT IS SO THICK YOU COULD DROP A MARBLE ONTO IT AND IT WOULD STRETCH DOWN SIX INCHES WITHOUT BREAKING AND THROW THE MARBLE BACK AT YOU WITH SO MUCH FORCE THAT IT WOULD HIT YOU IN THE FACE AND LEAVE AN EXIT WOUND THE SIZE OF A COOKIE AT THE BACK OF YOUR SKULL.  BUT TODAY I NEED TO FOCUS. SO I PUT ON JON GIBSON’S “TWO SOLO PIECES”.  GIBSON WAS A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE PHILIP GLASS ENSEMBLE. THIS WAS RELEASED ON PHIL’S CHATHAM SQUARE LABEL IN 1978.  THE FIRST SIDE, “CYCLES” IS A LONG, IMMENSE AND ENVELOPING DRONE PIECE PERFORMED ON A CHURCH ORGAN.  PLAY IT LOUD ENOUGH AND IT WILL RE-PLASTER YOUR WALLS.  SIDE TWO IS AN UNTITLED SOLO EXCURSION ON ALTO FLUTE THAT WANDERS, LOOPS, CYCLES AND DANCES LIKE AN ARPEGGIATED SYMPHONY OF THOSE THOUGHT BUBBLES THAT APPEAR IN THE LIMINAL PRE-DREAM SLUMBER ZONE.  MUSIC TO GET LOST IN.  MUSIC THAT DOESN’T MOVE.   NOT MUCH ELSE TO SAY. JUST PUT IT ON.  PLAY SIDE ONE VERY LOYD.  TURN SIDE TWO DOWN TO THE LEVEL WHERE IT IS BARELY AUDIBLE
JUST ABOVE THE THRESHOLD OF AUDIBILITY.  PREPARE GREEN TEA, BUT NOT LIKE A BLOODY AMERICAN. USE LOOSE LEAF. STEEP ONLY MOMENTARILY IN WATER THAT IS JUST BELOW THE BOILING POINT. THE ENTIRE GOAL IS TO SIMPLY STAIN THE WATER WITH TEA. THAT’S IT. STOP DOING SO MUCH. STOP GOING OVERBOARD. RELAX. YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH. YOU AREN’T AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR OVERPAID THERAPIST MAKES YOU THINK ARE. THIS IS A GOOD THING.  HOW CAN YOU BE A MAIN CHARACTER IN A PICTURE STARRING AN ENSEMBLE CAST OF THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF HUMANITY?  REST IN PEACE JON GIBSON. 
Jan 30, 2024

Top Recs from @caskeyc

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1. Don't set an alarm and wake up naturally. Snooze for however long you want to, it's okay 2. Have breakfast. For me it's toast. Have it with butter/jam/honey and a lot of water and coffee and juice. 3. Listen to an album in full and do some puzzles until it ends. I like to stick a record on and do the nyt games (connections, then wordle, then the mini, then I'm ready for a crossword) 4. Shower and use all your best stuff. Smell great. Make your hair feel soft. 5. Wear an outfit you don't get to wear that often. I tend to wear the same thing over and over at work so I wear something a bit more fun and less practical. 6. Go outside. I live near a road with secondhand shops that are great browsing but quite tempting on a budget. To beat the temptation just look in the windows and then walk round the streets or to a green space if it's a nice day. Walk as fast or as slow as you like. Try and spot cats that might let you stroke them. See how each place you go smells different. Walk down streets that you've not been down before just because. 7. Come home and decide how much energy you have. If you have energy do an activity (I would write, play an instrument, do some art, read, play a game) if you don't then watch something from your watchlist. Saturdays feel like a good day to watch something new. 8. Cook yourself a meal. Start before you're hungry and spend ages on it. Use every pot. Listen to music. Sing whilst you wash the dishes. 9. Play! Video games, board games, internet games, card games, phone games, rearrange your plushies, embrace your inner child. Play with ideas, experiment with felt tip pens, write a limerick. Get silly with it. 10. Talk to your friends. Invite them over, call somebody up, text that person back you didn't have time to. I like to spend a good day off by myself then have a great time talking to people after I've recharged. 11. Have so much fun getting to do whatever you want you fall asleep at whatever time. Monday - Friday is about appeasing your body clock, Saturdays are for filthy pleasures like falling asleep at 3am because you were too busy flirting or reading or watching videos.
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