Naked or not, I’m a costume that moves, figurine with a face that changes. You could call me a mood. I begin cheerful but sometimes turn solemn when confronted with my own mythology (wolf in a cape, cat scratch on a cupboard door, mouse tail in the hand of a bland farmer’s wife, a drop of blood on her shoe). Today’s beginning ended in a dream. In a fantastical bed, a lover leaned in to kiss me just as I realized I was part machine, part primitive urge. I left the bed and said, You know, don’t you, not everyone is so disposed. And then I heard from inside my head, You should say, not everyone is so disposed to your utopia. Only then did I realize I’d been inexact. Even here there are scolds that tell you how to be. Sometimes they live inside. Naked or not, I am trying to tuck my arms invisibly behind my back so that all you can see are my breasts and my highly simplified head.
Jul 17, 2024
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body is a vessel who carries me through life.
i’m grateful for the body i live inside and she needs me to be responsible for her.
body positivity is difficult if ur looks oppose the standard of beauty in your region. and i've observed a tendency to ricochet into body negativity from there. Literally no - that is full trash - shame, hatred towards yourself is painful and inconvenient and lame?
so in body neutrality - thoughts become ‘what do i wear tonight to feel good? does this meal need to ground me or energize me?’ and suddenly life is more sensual because one is more embodied in every moment. there isn’t that outside - looking in at yourself to monitor your perfection or lacktheroef - vibe which keeps us out of our intuitions and impulses.
suddenly you are liberated and …it’s scary at first bc u have thrown away the point of comparison which you’ve measured life against?
if that makes sense?
idk
Feb 1, 2024
I have a very distinct and lucid memory of opening an arts catalogue to a page where there was an entirely plain, bland even, nude prominent on the page, and my grandmother walked past and said, quite loudly: “oh my, they’re nude….” Along with a muttering about porn. There is such a lack of genuine, mere, appreciation of the body?!?!! I’ve gotten flack before for just happening to be shirtless on Instagram. Nothing thirsty, no contorted posing…just the lack of a shirt. And I hate it! I love humanity and all the physicality that entails!!! Picture is a detail of a 17th century Russian icon from the Collection of Mikhail de Boire.
Dec 12, 2024
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If you saw that NYT headline “the future isn’t female anymore” and you’re wondering what the fuck is going on with women, this book is a good place to start. the cool thing about theory is that you actually only have to read the introduction.
Jul 26, 2022
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Not sure why… but there’s love vibrations in the air…
Feb 6, 2025
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Sneak into the nearest rail valley and leave a penny on the tracks. Then run back up the hill and do something else for three hours. In that time, one of the mile-long freight trains that pass through your town will spread the penny like butter over the hot steel. When the train is gone, go back down and you'll find a flat, oval-shaped piece of copper in the same spot you left the penny. The piece of copper is useless, but it's satisfying to be responsible for squishing hard metal.
Look out for the rail bull!
Jul 18, 2024