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Backstory: Im crushing so hard on a tattoo artist near my job and am delusionally convinced she’s my soulmate. We coincidentally have matching tattoos of the cover art for faces by mac miller high on the thigh. (for full story go look at my asks)
Update: aight… went to the tattoo shop’s 8th anniversary event just to kinda be present and participate in the art community in Puerto Rico bc I’m having trouble finding ppl I relate too and I think I can make friends w them. Didn’t rly get to chat with her much, she was being a little distant and I wasn’t going to corner her or anything. I ended up getting some flash that was super cool. after my tat was finished late that night I went for a walk to shake off the nerves of the pain n shit. Ended up getting a strange feeling to buy a bunch of ice creams for everyone in the tattoo shop party so I walked far as hell and bought like 20-30 ice creams from a 24hr bodega and came back to pass them out to everyone for free. Boom. wonderful success and made so many ppl smile. Now the shop owner n community know me and recognize my chill.
Additionally: I could not get this girl out of my head. Like I never rly date and I fr don’t like talking to girls. Im rly hyper-isolated but it’s my own doing. But she Was driving me crazy. I ended up buying her the Book of Mac memoir and planned to give it to her as a gift/tip at our booked tattoo session. I had a feeling that she’d rly like it. But that wasn’t enough. I became manic and over the course of three sessions I made her a mac miller mix. Ive attached it for u all to listen. This might’ve been overkill and I was second guessing it the whole time but I did it anyway because I’m not a pussy.
Finally: get to the tat session and was greeted with a kiss on the cheek (polite and customary for Puerto Ricans but she was rly friendly about it and she initiated). When she finished setting up our station I sit down and pull out the book. Inside the book I had written to: (her name) from: (me) and a short quote from BMO (adventure time) because it kinda just felt right. tell her hey I got this for you, I think I have a crush on you idk, but yeah this is for you. Bruh… she melted. She was like soooooooooooo happy. She had a mask on cuz she was sick but she said underneath she was blushing super hard.
we start the tattoo and I ask if I can just talk to her while she does it. I’m rly shy and not the best at convo but throughout the entire tattoo I just picked her brain to try and get to know her. Bruh… we r so alike. Like mind blowingly alike. Talked about music and movies and clothes. But she was kinda dry and quick w her chatting. It took a while for her to warm up a bit and relax. Plus I’m funny so she was giggling after every other thing I said. Teased her a bit. Flirted a bit. But nothing too heavy. By the end of the tattoo session we were on aux together going back and forth w songs talking about why we like them n stuff. Like at this point I can tell we’re friends. Finally the tat is finished and it’s great. She’s an apprentice and not super experienced but it was exactly what I wanted. As we were saying our goodbyes she thanks me again for the book. I told her I had one more thing to give her but she had to give me her number first… she freaks out a little bit. I say no pressure obviously, but she’s like “yes pressure“ I’m like what?? She gives me her number and gives me a super quick and tight hug. Idk how to describe it but it was like a shy, fast “I need to hug you before anyone sees” hug. as I’m walking out the shop I text her the link to the mix n head home.
I get home, she texts saying thanks for the mix that it’s rly cool and thanks again for the book. and then…. She tells me she’s dating someone 🥴 and didn’t know how to tell me in person and froze when I asked for her number n if its alright if we’re just friends. I ate that punch, said hey no prob we can be friends, which is totally fine like I fr don’t mind, but the thing is I KNOW MY WHOLE SCHEME WORKED. Like the way she was reacting to me and how comfortable she got and how cool our convo was like I know she recognized how cool I was. And she told me I was rly cool like she texted saying she thinks im cool. So like… fuck. Idk. and She didn’t even say she has a boyfriend, she just said she’s dating someone so it doesn’t even sound serious. Idk what to do. She didn’t respond to my last text. so this is where we stand. I think I fucked her world up tho. No way she’s not thinking about me now.
What do yall think?
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"dating someone" prob means committed exclusive? ice cream supplying the function is a sick play i gotta use that sometime
royallmonarch Yeah I understood it as exclusive but just tryna wrap my head around it. Plus I think he’s this old guy that works at the tattoo shop.
But yeah ice cream move is an absolute smash success if u got $75 to blow. extra pro tip is to find vegan-friendly options for ppl who don’t want dairy or ice cream like maybe just some candy or a fruit bar!
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I was at the bar and my friend was telling me about this girl that her friend had a crush on and the description sounded vaguely familiar so I asked them to show me her Instagram and she pulled it up and put it on the table. I scrolled through to find a good picture and said “yes I do know her she’s-…right there” and I looked up and she was running towards me and I screamed her name and we hugged and made a huge scene. Definitely not slick wingman wise but I couldn’t help it because of how much of a coincidence it was.
This girl was constantly on tour up and down the east coast and never in town really so we barely saw each other but always had a good time whenever we did. It was so random and felt cosmic. I introduced her to my friends and she hung out for a bit. Someone’s far away, “unattainable” Instagram crush popping up at the table, as soon shes brought up. It was so cool, I’ll never forget it.
Mar 29, 2024
so hear this shit out
two years ago I came to visit my family in Colombia but decided to stay with my moms childhood bestfriend. Always knew she had a son but we were young when we met and we never talked so i didn’t think much about it. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THE MOST FINE ASS MAN IN THE WORLD GREETS ME AT THE DOOR. Anyway his mom has him take me to the mall and buy me lunch and also take me out to a club that same weeken. Everything was friend vibes up until I was dancing with him some reggaeton (donde se baila bien pegadito) and dancehall or wtv AND THEN AND THEN he whispers in my ear “te puedo dar la vuelta?” BASICALLY ASKING TO TURN ME AROUND AHHHHH AND LIKE DANCE WITH MY BACK (and ass) ALL UP ON HIM
anyway nothing happened that night (even though we were home alone) cause like idk maybe im dense. After i left colombia we were chatting a bit on whatsapp BUT THEN HE LEFT ME ON DELIVERED.
Whatever i didn’t think much of it cause who am i to expect someone in a whole other country to continue speaking to me. A whole year goes by and I come back to the city spring of 2024 for a wedding for my moms bestfriend so surprise surprise he was there with his mom who was also bestfriends with the groom and bride. We ended up dancing again (more modestly this time) still thought it was friends vibes cause idk man I WAS CRUSHING HARD THO.
After the wedding he comes up to me and asks if i want to go clubbing. I say yes cause like WHY NOT. We get to his place (which i was again staying at cause his mom is my mothers LITERALLY CHILDHOOD BESTIE) i get ready, throw in whatever raggedy clothes i managed to bring on the trip. AND POP OUT. he ends up taking me to a club called DAKITI. We pull up, get drinks (i offer to pay cause like i have an american job and colombian pesos translated to dollars is lowkey cheap n i felt bad n I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST FRIEND VIBES) anyway i end up getting lit. I’m honestly not sure if he’s lit too but fuck it. Anyway we ended up dancing and he was fucking BREATHING DOWN MY NECK AND ALL UP IN MY FACE and jesus christ i kept hiding my face cause I was so nervous. I end up giving in and looking up at him (im 5’1 he’s gotta be like 6’0 or 6’1) and BITCH WE KISSED NOT ONLY KISS WE MADE OUT THE WHOLE NIGHT AND DANCING HOT AND HEAVY FR. bueno. We stay at the club dancing and making out until like 5am, we get a car home and he asks the driver if he could sit in the back with me (in colombia ubers are illegal so someone has to sit in the front seat so it looks like it’s a normal car ride) and the driver says no </3 but i end up putting my hand on the center console and si did he so we were holding hands the whole way. I won’t talk about what happened once we got home 👀 pero safe to say we was feeling each other. Once i left his place/colombia to go back home we were back to talking in whatsapp for a couple of months and it was super fun but it honestly came to a stop cause i noticed he was taking a while to answer and idk i felt like maybe he was just not that interested.
ALL THIS BACK STORY JUST TO SAY
i’m back in colombia. Not only have i stayed at his house BUT AT HIS GRANDMAS HOUSE (again his family loves me and my mom cause they grew up with my mom and also used to take care of me when i was younger) his aunts, cousins, grandma, and MOTHER, love me to death but my friends this isn’t a love story :(
WELP, as the test of time would prove, my colombia bae now has a gf <\3
I found out about it last october cause i saw him post her and i IMMEDIATELY unfollowed him. Half cause i didn’t want to see him and other half cause i didn’t want his girl to have ANYTHING to worry about.
Spent christmas with him and his family, we only said hi and bye and merry christmas.
He’s currently out of town with friends and his gf and i’ve been spending time with his mom at their place. and ALSO hes trying to move to MY HOME TOWN to get his pilots license. so as he’s spending time with his boo thang out of the city me, my mom, and his mother are setting him up with usa pilir connects and what not. ITS SO WEIRD.
Anyway, such is life im excited to leave
colombia so i can stop existing in his four walls and move on with my life
(plot twist: i might be moving to colombia after I graduate in may so i’ll be nearby)
Hope yall enjoyed my story time <3
Jan 8, 2025
a couple weeks ago, i bumped into a friend that i say hi to every now and then, but don’t know much about. i’ve always thought he’s cute. we were both walking to the library to study, so we were talking and getting to know each other. i mentioned that i want to live back at home after i graduate uni because i would miss my dog (and parents) too much. then i showed him my lock screen of my dog. this song was playing (important!) and he stared at the screen for awhile and i thought that was strange because it wasn’t hard to see the pic of my dog. my delulu self thought he was trying to read the song name to listen to it later.
we ended up spending the rest of the day together, studying, trying to get to know each other while flirting, and then got taco bell for dinner (literally a date yk). he also paid for my drink at our campus cafe🥹
2 weeks ago, we were studying together again and i asked if he had spotify. he said yes, and i said that we should make a shared playlist that blends our music (i listen to it every day). the other day this song showed up and on the side it had both of our profiles… basically we both had listened to it, and it’s SO CUTE because he is so observant and makes an effort to get to know me. and no i don’t think he alr knew who caroline polachek is based on what he listen to. anyway i really really like him and this might be the start of a love story pls wish me luck🤞🏻
Dec 7, 2024
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i Am a proud fan of weird women!!!
Newest weird woman acquisition: the cute shy girl from my MBA program with a curly bob and red highlights.
Shes so quiet and shy, we’ve had every class together so far over 3 semesters and barely ever spoke aside from her saying happy Valentine’s Day to me in February. Fast forward to this semester I sit next to her first day of finance class and decide to Be friendly and chat. She’s quiet but cool so I get her number, offer to maybe study later in the semester (which is a mild courtesy as I was lowkey just gaining new allies in the class to assist with cheating).
But once I started texting her about class we just never stopped texting, and now I think we’re actively flirting? Shes into dark romance novels? she brought one of her novels to class yesterday and after class she snuggled up against me in the hallway and made me read a (very graphic) page about a girl getting fucked by a gun? This chick is nuts. Am I catching feelings?
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W’s in the chat
Jun 28, 2024
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*only do this when you MUST get FLY and exude unspeakable and ineffable confidence where ppl will probably call you a cocky asshole*
recite this prayer:
Dear Haters,
You can all suck my balls from the back and my dick from the front.
I was born to be great.
you were all born to debate my greatness.
Clearly we are not the same.
in times of uncertainty I stand tall.
Even when alone, my spirit is guided by God’s invisible hand who shields me from the bullshit.
A back this broad was earned by climbing to places most could never reach.
If theyve never seen these heights, how could they comprehend my perspective?
Anyone with something negative to say is miles beneath me with mushy shit in their pamper and piss dribbling down their soft, weak legs.
Thank you mint god for humility.
Thank you mint god for strength.
Love,
(Your name)
And although I may not appear in the physical form, you will feel an aura of mint purple surrounding you and a genuine earthy sense of pride in your chest to continue on your mission, no fucks given.
Jun 19, 2024