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You know that meme where it goes "Inside of me there are two wolves"? Well, that is essentially one of the main themes of the novel Steppenwolf, a book that I hold dear to myself and which I view as a window into my soul. The book taught me how to be at peace with the complexities of my identity and that of others. Our souls are not a singular entity, nor are our souls made up of two pieces (or wolves according to the meme), but rather our souls are like a shattered mirror with numerous or even infinite fragments that make up who we are. We are made up of so many different pieces that we often feel like we are contradicting and betraying ourselves when we make certain decisions or behave in certain ways. So how do we deal with this struggle? For me, Steppenwolf through its magical journey gave me a simple answer: let loose and be free. Just as the main character Harry Haller hates jazz but learns how to dance to it and enjoy the atmosphere the music creates. Learn to not see things in black and white; learn to not see yourself in black and white. You can enjoy many different things, you can value many different things, and they might contradict each other, but don't struggle in trying to logically sort yourself out. The same goes for how you perceive others – you might not fully understand them or agree with them, but you can still enjoy someone with a different perspective.
Our existence, body and soul, is inherently contradictory, as the novel states: "As a body everyone is single, as a soul never." It's something we simply must accept.
Jul 29, 2024
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Yes I realize this is far more than one book, but I read all of these stories in very close succession & I believe they shaped me into the guy I am today. These are all very sensitive-young-man-core, but what can I say? I was a sensitive young man.
I have a very complicated relationship with Mother & Father. When I was first introduced to Kafka, it was like meeting my soulmate. I don’t have it in me to go into much detail at this moment, but being condemned to death by drowning for failing an aging father who can sense a deeply felt resentment; waking up one day to find you’ve turned into a disgusting bug after sacrificing so much for a family that cares so little— these are ideas that deeply rattled & resonated with me personally at the age that I read them. I resolved to try to live differently.
Death of Ivan Ilych was simply further exhortation for me to not live my life according to convention, to pursue wealth, status, family life for their own sakes. I think every single one of us has it in us to become an Ivan Ilych without even realizing. I was totally rapt & manic upon finishing this one I still am today, to some degree.
Portrait of the Artist really spoke to me as well. When Stephen looks at his father & realizes he’s a fool, and that he wants to be nothing like him. The moment when he sees the girl in the water & he becomes so horny he decides to dedicate his life to the pursuit of beauty, to aesthetics, to being an artist. The entire ending segment written as first person journal entries filled me with a lot of hope.
Emerson is the man. Great way to shock the materialist reductionist, the comformist, the busybody, & the consistent, conventional company man out of your system. Probably made me a more annoying person when alls said & done. Oh well.
May 12, 2024
“I have no right to call myself one who knows. I was one who seeks, and I still am, but I no longer seek in the stars or in books; I'm beginning to hear the teachings of my blood pulsing within me.”
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize in Literature, Demian tells the story of Emil Sinclair and his pursuit of self-actualization, instigated by new his friendship with Max Demian.
Published a few years before Hesse’s most popular work, Siddhartha, you can already begin to see his interest in Eastern philosophy and spiritual awakening developing in the themes of Demian.
Dec 4, 2024
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some of my favorite… transcendence quotes come from this book. it’s all about the joy and beauty of life in it’s seasons. i listen to the audiobook regularly if i’m stressed or restless. i recommend a second hand paperback, it’s just too good to not mark up. also, rereads go hard as fuck because different truths phase in and out in different periods of your life. a short must read.
Sep 28, 2024
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I just tried it for the first time and it was amazing, it's pretty much a milkshake. I didn't know what to expect because the packaging made it look slightly unappetizing and I was expecting it to taste like watery peanut juice, but it was surprisingly thick and creamy!? I later learned this drink is popular in the Caribbean and easily homemade so I want to try making it myself instead of drinking it from a package next time.
Aug 2, 2024
I'm ngl I've forgotten many parts of the story, I dozed off in others, and it was difficult to understand but I still really enjoyed the experience of reading Swann's Way. Now that we're in the middle of summer I'm remembering this book because that's the season where it takes place. I long for my summers to be as languid as I felt it was in the book, where I can just lounge around outside, take strolls, and be curious about strangers. Speaking of taking strolls, that part of the book where Marcel takes evening walks with his family felt startingly personal because I do the same every single dayyy. When I graduate I'm going to miss all these mundane routines with family and current life in general. Reading Swann's Way is comforting for me and I wish transported into that world. I'm definitely going to re-read it and I also have the other books to slowly get through. If anyone has any similar books to recommend please lmk!!
Aug 1, 2024
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the moment I laid my eyes on Elliot, I knew he was the one.
Jul 30, 2024