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Last year in July, I left my whole life in Paris. My parents cut me off and stopped paying for my flat in the city and I was so depressed about it all. I used to go out a lot, party in the coolest places with my friends whom I adored... I had to leave all of it behind, the glitter and the joy. I moved to a place in the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend, like literally sheeps right behind my house haha. Everything was hard, I had to do physical labor that I never experienced before and I was bored out of my mind. Connection is not the best here so I had to pick up something to do. I went swimming a lot, I started making pearl bracelets like my mom did in the 70's in the DRC when she was a kid. It felt nice :) We adopted a stray cat and named him plantain in lingala "Makemba", his owner had left him behind. My parents and I made peace, we all grew up... I'm moving back to Paris to resume law school after years of wandering in the abyss of my future. I'll miss the sheeps, the big tree in out backyard, coloring books and sleeping with the door open. What I thought was the worst punishment of my life grew to become bittersweet memories... Even when everything is shit, something nice can come out of it... I wish I knew that when I was crying cause I didn't want to leave 🐸
Aug 1, 2024

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Like many who came before me I also have been busy experiencing life™️ I went camping with like 25 other lesbians, had an entire no tech day(phone died) and it changed me fundamentally. I work in digital marketing during the week so the thought of my phone being completely inaccessible is beyond my imagination. Having now been able to just completely unplug made me realize how little work life balance I have and so i’ve been working hard to change that. Outside of that, the camping trip also introduced me to a lot of new people I’m particularly excited to get to know. I felt like I was able to connect with several others for a wider variety of reasons than usual, tapping into even more niche interests to create bonds with new friends. I’ve become tired of being on the grind 24/7 and having to crunch activities in between or before shifts. I told my boss at the restaurant that i’ll be cutting back, which hopefully means i’ll have a full day off once a week starting in September. I still have plans to get a cat in the fall, aiming for October as a safe bet. Will be asking more cat related questions here soon! I also learned some shit and keeping learning shit about my family that continues to age me at a more rapid pace than usual. There are the horrors, but we persist! I also got a tat this weekend :) I posted it on instagram and a friend from college that I had lost touch with told me they got Haku in the same spot 🥲♥️ Anyway, missing all the PI-friends i’ve made and sending you all hugs, especially those who have been experiencing life too
Aug 13, 2024
Told my dad another van repair caused our plans to change. We wouldn't be going to Maine. It's too close to winter to be going up North. Instead we'll be staying a few months in Texas on a horse farm. "Y'all need to just settle down somewhere" Nearly four years ago I told him our plans to live in a van and travel to different farms for work exchange. "Now's the time to do it while you're young" Well it's been a little past three years. The first van kept having issues and we were in an unhealthy living arrangement. Months turned into a year and we weren't welcome anymore. My nesting partner and I were glad the old van even made it three states over to another family member's house. A few repairs and a second dog later we decided we needed to upsize. This van is also old and needed repairs too but what really kept us here longer was meeting one person that could have made a sad town worth staying in. However, that wasn't in the cards either. So we're almost four years in to this dream to travel. We've already done a bit of travel if you think about it. I told my dad "why would I give up on something just cause it's taking longer than I thought it would?" "You need to put down roots" I asked what that meant to him. "Get a home" Ah, well the van is my home. If there's one thing I've learned over these last few years, my family is living miserably, going to jobs they only tolerate, to the point of exhaustion, to then sit in an expensive house and watch TV every evening. They have no connection to their community. I want to see different towns, meet people, get an idea of the community I would be living in long term. I want to be intentional with where I put my roots. So however long it takes, home is where I am and it's where I'll be in the end.
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its nothing that hasn’t been said before a thousand times. Im back in Philadelphia and we’re both different. I go to a fancy cocktail bar that’s opened on the road I’ve only ever been down to get to my ex‘s apartment. there were fewer businesses then, and many buildings were shuttered and dark. now there are high rises where there used to just be skeleton structures of plywood and plastic. I get coffee with two friends I introduced just before I left, and it’s sweet and strange to see the new flower of a friendship there that I didn’t watch grow. I take the bus down Washington Ave and try to catch a glimpse down the street my best friend used to live on, at the rooftop where we laughed and cried and sang and smoked and took five hundred thousand pictures of ourselves silhouetted against the skyline. I get lunch with my ex in his new neighborhood, eating at the diner we ordered delivery from when we had to quarantine together in late 2020. We talk about therapy and new partners and change. I take the regional rail out to the suburbs to see an old coworker who now has a baby. She shows me pictures from their family’s Christmas. I sit backwards on the way home, letting my eyes relax the row homes into a blur until im almost sick. A flock of starlings flies next to the train, gliding through the air for an almost unbelievable amount of time even with their wings closed. The birds all suddenly alight in a tree and the train pulls away.
Dec 30, 2024

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