I think in my experience on a more emotional/personal level, for every new person or new life experience I gain, it reminds me of my older sister who passed away a few years ago. Like, when someone laughs so wholeheartedly and the way their eyes squint slightly at the same time, or even to how someone would gush over their favorite celebrities, or their new obsessions on tiktok and IG, I see bits and pieces of her in them.
Some days are a bit bittersweet, but on other days it almost feels like a breath of fresh air. Like, even in the ways I reminisce on her and the memories we shared both good and bad, no matter the time and death between us, it feels like she's there sometimes saying "Hi" in her own way.
I like to think of it as a small balm that helps relive and heal the inevitable grief that follows the Hello's, good bye's, or even the simplest passing glances of someone/something(s) that reminds me of her.
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i’m a very nostalgic and sentimental person. i feel that i’ve lived a majority of my life in my head, and i find that i enjoy the past more than i ever enjoy the present.
i don’t think nostalgia is a bad thing, but i can definitely fall into feeling sad because i’m yearning for different eras of my life (here’s the kicker- even if i know i was actually miserable during that time, but now that i’m slightly more removed, i’ve romanticized the experience)
well the other day my mom and i talked about the idea of being nostalgic for the moment you’re currently in. notice all of the little details that are creating the experience you’re having, and be grateful that you live a life that’s worth remembering and looking back on. file that moment away, so then, weeks/months/years from now when you’re looking back on this moment, you’ll know that you experienced it fully.
Mar 5, 2025
its call takes me back to when I was outside all the time as a kid. my cousins and I often explored our family's property together, climbing trees, walking across frozen streams, seeing wildlife and flowers, and really just being innocent children. we aren't really close anymore though.
its call takes me back to taking a walk many years ago. there's a photo from it, me walking up a hill, my toddler self with my grandma and dad holding my hand on either side of me. I've seen the original photo too, with my dad as a toddler walking up the same hill with my grandma about 30 years before that. I'm glad I have that photo because, not long after the photo was taken, she was too.
its call takes me back to being at my grandpa's house early in the morning after my mom dropped me off before work in the summer. maybe there were birds in the birdhouses on the porch. and maybe there were nestlings being taken care of by their mother, and we could hear their soft chirping through the screen door. we had to have the door open because there was no air conditioning. well, not was, there was never air conditioning or heat. but I never minded because he always made sure I was cool or warm or whatever the season called for. I'm freezing now though, and he's not here anymore to help me.
its call takes me back to when things were a lot simpler, and I find peace in that feeling.
Feb 22, 2025
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When I think about it, I think most of my nostalgia stems from being a child because I was unequivocally aware that I was filled with joy and trusting my present state. I was able to thrive in naivety because I was around people who had my best interest at heart. I didn't feel heartbreak simply because I was a child and had no purpose to date. I never felt true betrayal (even on the contrary of my second grade best friend randomly becoming my third grade bully...or attempted bully). My friends lived next door and on hot summer days we stayed outside from sun up til the street lights came on. Riding around the neighborhood on our bikes, buying candy from the corner store, then playing hopscotch with the bigger kids across the street. The nostalgia to truly feel free from the complexities that I face daily with interactions.
I look back and my sisters and brothers were always around. I think about the days where we danced and sang songs. Never aware that that day was the last day where we are under the same roof, laughing and mocking but with so much love in our hearts that we don't care. We just feel good.
Apr 24, 2024
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Genuinely I'd probably pay off my school debt which thankfully isn't TOO high but other than that probably help my mama pay off her bills and medical shit and get my siblings a few nice gifts that they'll prolly like.
Aug 8, 2024
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I've been burning more and more music into cd's lately and been enjoining the experience of physical media. My mom used to have a bunch of CD's and cassettes when I was a kid and have honestly been getting tired of paying a monthly subscription to music apps. I got a decent portable CD player on Amazon for like $20 and thrifted a bunch of blank CD's and a CD case at my local Goodwill.
Oct 25, 2024
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Most of these are hiphop and rap but these are a few that I've been listening to lately either when working out or even just going on a walk.
- Big Dawgs by Hnumankind, and Kalmi
- Sundress by A$AP Rocky
- 4,3,2,1 by LL COOL J, Method Man, Redman, DMX,etc
-Vomit by Travis Thompson, Nima Skeemz, P-Lo
- On my Shit (Freestyle) by Snow Tha Product
- City in Motion by Yonny
Aug 8, 2024