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as a self-claimed lover of loved, beloved of all (it’s acc what my full name means so maybe my fam created this character trait for me idk) — people be testing you.
people be inherently projecting their own problems, contingencies against thr faith of all things good, and you are left unassembling and cleaning up shit in an apartment that you haven’t lived in since June (damage deposit of peeling paint and tired souls)
It’s so hard to continue the path of grace, to be ‘the better person’ — so much of my life, I’ve contained my rage, bottled it into journal-entry analyses of ‘how to be a better person’
sometimes tho… I want to rip everything to shreds. Shout FUCK YOU not to the void of my car on long pursuits of unhappiness down the highway, but to the people who made me question my ability to love, to feel love.
I hate it all. but I gotta keep moving forward 🌧️😴➡️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥😜🙂🤞🏾
Aug 30, 2024
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i could never understand why i lacked the tools to distance myself from people who hurt me and kept hurting me. i’d always go back, i’d always “forgive,” and i’d always fawn (try and be better because it’s obviously my fault i wasn’t perfect, duh.) .
there has been a recent shift in my life where i will feel physically angry when i’m subjected to mistreatment. sometimes i’ll put it aside in favor of my fears but sometimes i feel it and let it be.. and when i do, i find i have the power to uphold simple boundaries that protect me from the mistreatment. it’s the darndest thing (would you believe it if i said i’m black?)
Apr 24, 2024
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there’s that whole thing with being a former gifted kid, or even just an outgoing person, or a highly involved/high achiever. maybe just a really happy, entertaining type.
i feel like i’ve lost that part of myself, and i’ve tried to become like other people, but that didn’t really work either. i want to be MORE, but it’s so hard sometimes, y’know?
if you feel that way, i hope you know ,and remember always, YOU ARE STRONG. existing can be exhausting, in any capacity, and you should give yourself grace for that. be kind to yourself!
Oct 31, 2024
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i have been in situations where it felt like i needed to be the better person for others to think im not hurt. times when i needed to be around people who hurt me really bad in life.
what i learned from that is, some people will never do you dirty again. others will 😂 and when i catch who will hurt me again, i keep them at a distance and don’t invest energy into maintaining anything.
forgiveness should not be guaranteed, and its difficult to have people come in your ear to say you need to forgive in order to move on. no you need ti just set boundaries around people who hurt you and move forward with it. there are so many people back in my college days where mutually things were so bad. will i apologize and forgive them? probably not ill just distance myself from those people and they become an afterthought.
4d ago
Top Recs from @harmanzworlddddd
I got my nails done and I realized the star on the index finger makes the nails PI themed. Semi unconscious yet a soft-smile realization while the nail tech was painting the star on.
Dec 18, 2024
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I was celibi-cied for like 3 years after my situationship became an ‘omfg-you-are-a-serial-cheater-on-your-girlfriend-of-four-years!’ Hella afraid of love, intimacy and everything.
over the past few months, I’ve been casual dating for no other means than finding out what I like and don’t like. I’ve had good and bad sex, been given flowers on the first date and then ghosted, moved to the UK and had my first proper one night stand (every other one was too drunken to remember lol) and am currently on my first bae-cation with a man I am slowly falling in love with.
I promise you, dating for fun rather than for long-term involvement is so much more enriching than you think. As you’re floating around, you learn to decenter men and tolerate their mansplaining a lot less. You find out that no, you do not want to make a sex tape on the first date, and then you’ll slowly trickle in the good stuff. Kind men who just listen to you, and are a little different than the other men you’ve seen. You‘ll learn to love being treated kindly, and cherish that above all else story-watching-liking-no game bs.
It’s sounds sooo irritating to say shit like phhh don’t look for it, it’ll come for you!! But girl as annoying as it is… that is the truth of the matter. I don’t know if this guy is my finish
line, but I did just orgasm like 8 times 🙏🏾 I met on hinge, and lowkey ghosted him intially. give the guy in your dms a chance for real ….
Wishing you and your future lover all the best….
p.s copying the other user by attaching a relevant song 😛
Nov 10, 2024
I love British Columbia cos I’m from here. So surreal and beautiful and peaceful.
WEST COAST BEST COAST RAHHHHHH
The pic is from a bat walk I went on yesterday. this shit is literally my backyard #crazyassprivelage
Jul 25, 2024