situs inversus totalis
look it up. every organ in my torso rests in the mirrored position from how it's supposed to be (i.e. my heart is more on the right side)
Impt for my girlies who were mortified by the news of colorectal cancer’s rise among millennials.
Fun part: after you’re done with your hypochondriac episode, look for gastroenterologists online like you’re on a dating app.