Look at them and notice something that they actively chose today. Easy ones are like clothes, bags, jewlery, makeup or whatever. But you’d probably have even better luck with like if they’re holding a shopping bag or a book or a cup of coffee or the keychain on their keys. idk those are just the examples I thought of. But basically that’s something intentional, so that’s something they will have thoughts/feelings/opinions on. Ask a question or make a comment that requires them to reveal that. Like a question you would want someone in your life to ask you about something that you put energy towards, yk? Like for me I always want to talk to people about books I’ve read or that theyve read. Or when Im holding a food or drink I probably could talk about why I wanted that.
But the most important part dude. Is to gauge reaction after that. If they wanna talk more then yay. If not, you gotta let it go don’t push. It’s a them thing, not a you thing.
Related Recs
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Best way to discover the early sparks of friendships, in my experience, is to be genuinely curious about those you happen across. Ask them questions. Find out and ask about their "true self" list of conversation topics.
As you probe and listen and make space for them to talk with a long runway, they'll likely do the same. If not, no worries, there's always someone else.
Feb 11, 2025
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this might not all apply to you, but sometimes if I overthink social interactions in general, I end up missing out on what could have been a really good conversation. I usually like to ask myself what I’m genuinely curious about/want to know about a specific person and let my questions lead into a more fruitful discussion. worst case scenario is that don’t take the bait and then the conversation ends, but most of the time I find people like talking about themselves, which can lead to something y’all have in common.
I also don’t put pressure on myself to “make a friend” after one interaction. some people require crumbs of interactions before they start to let you in!
Mar 27, 2024
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Underrated conversation starter. I had an amazing conversation about this with someone yesterday. We learned a lot about each other and even got to talk about favourite fruits and artificial flavourings (i.e.: I love peach-flavoured stuff, she’s a citrus girlie).
Also BONUS: you get to memorize people’s little treats and surprise them with yummy things sometimes 😋🫶🏼💕🥳
Apr 3, 2024
Top Recs from @imkhushi
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You know that window of a few minutes right when you wake up in the morning where your thoughts haven’t all loaded yet?
These days I enjoy silence as a more affecting thing than a lack of stimulus. Like it’s not the absence of noise, it’s the presence of quiet. And it feels nice on your ears if you tune in.
3d ago
But here’s evidence of a former hobby that is woefully irrelevant to my life as it has panned out
Oct 14, 2024