🏋️♀️
There's this weird fine line right before oversharing, a certain amount of time past the initial pleasantries on a first date where it's actually really awesome to bring up the serious things about yourself, and if done the right way breaks through the ice, inviting an actual sort of intimacy to exist and inviting the other person to actually tell you about themselves. Don't go too crazy though. You can kind of just say "fuck it" and be really honest. People will be surprised and you will usually get a second date.
Related Recs
🗣
I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to say, “Good and you?” when someone asks, “How are you doing?” Not me. I love taking this opportunity to honestly unload exactly where I’m at on the ever swinging pendulum that is my constantly shifting emotional/psychological/spiritual state. Try being completely transparent next time someone cracks open this door to a potentially true human connection.
Oct 20, 2022
❤️
This is, I think, the best question I’ve been asked on a date— it lets me answer as superficially or as deeply as I’m comfortable, and it feels better/more sincere than a compliment. Early into a date compliments always feel really superficial, and this is a way to actually ask what someone likes about themselves, instead of telling them what you like about them.
Feb 21, 2024
🎉
When I list the things that are off bounds for a first time interaction, I then realize the sheer amount of things that are in bounds! I sort of have 3 big no-no's for first time convos, and you can decide for yourself if these feel right for you:
- party politics [I leave other kinds of politics in as fair game: class warfare or the rise of fascism or the opportunity for anarchic community building, etc.]
- religion
- personal finances
there are probably others, but those are the big 3 imo.
from there, I like to ask lots of how questions:
- how did you feel when you discovered your latest favorite song? can you pinpoint why it made you feel that way?
- how did you meet the host?
- how did you get into that hobby/line of work/subculture?
- how do you find joy/inspiration/motivation in your daily life?
- how do you like to dance?
- how good is this coors/pabst/french onion dip/potato chip/music/etc?
- how long has it been since your last speeding ticket?
- how long do you think you could last without eating a potato?
etc.
you could also ask any of the fun questions that perfectlyimperfect asks:
- fave things to put on toast
- your go-to email signature
- unique staple in your fridge
BUT TRULY!!! spencerto is right: don't over do it!
Jul 20, 2024
Top Recs from @jude
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Going to restaurants alone and phoneless! Being in traffic! Having your train be stuck on the subway! Being incredibly early to things! Waiting is an extremely exciting activity if you let it be. Just sitting around and noticing things, noticing your body, noticing how you feel
Sep 28, 2024
✍️
Further concretizing your understanding of someone and letting them be excited > allowing them to feel sheepish
Sep 30, 2024
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maybe I won't get my car back from the tow pound. maybe it's just a distraction from the important things in life.
Oct 19, 2024