I think the value of your body lies so much outside of its perception. Like, in the world its obviously going to be perceived always and that will affect you for better or for worse. But your body is not FOR others, it’s for YOU. Nothing is constant or forever or is anything you can truly count on. You won’t have your family and friends forever, your job doesn’t always matter, your thoughts and feelings are unreliable. But your body will ALWAYS be there as long as you are alive. Otherwise you wouldn’t be alive as you are. It allows you to experience taste, smell, sight, touch, and all the other things you may be lucky to have. You know that if you have certain habits, your body will have certain capacities, or not. It’s predicable, and it will always be that way. And I know that this isn’t true when you have health issues, and when that happens to me at least, it’s always really scary. But you always have more that WORKS than you think you do. What’s the only non-arguable purpose of being alive? To me, it’s that I am in MY body, when I could have been born as anyone else, or any species of animal, or a blade of grass or something. But THIS is what I have and so I will Notice it, and Use it. I think it’s a waste of time to focus on what your body does for other people. That’s not its job. We are literally just animals. But with the luxury of knowing that, we can use our bodies however we want, for survival or otherwise! How freaking fun. Although, we didn’t jump out of a coconut tree or whatever so none of that is to invalidate the implications of bodily appearance in society. Just a diff topic ig
Sep 29, 2024

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My body doesn’t always feel like this, this feeling is not new and it is not permanent. My body doesn’t always look like this, my body will not look like this tomorrow and it will not look like this forever. My body will shift and change in the ways it needs to, to maintain balance, to keep me healthy, to keep me safe. I am so lucky to have this body that works and works hard. I am so lucky to experience this life through a vessel that I love and that loves me back. 
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I recently tore a bunch of ligaments in my ankle while rock climbing, and the healing process has caused me to be in absolute awe of my body’s mechanics. The fact that the human being exists as it does, in all of its infinite forms, is an inexplicable miracle. Be grateful to be alive, it feels good.
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Having a ticker that can stop at any moment really softens a guy. Reading what I can. Planting what I can. Letting those I love know I love them and not wasting time on those I love but can't seem to be bothered by it. Life's way too short to impress those who need impressed by you. If I have any regret it's not developing as strong of a community around anything that I'd have liked. I don't think humans need a million likes or a hundred friends or even one fan. Just your tribe. The people you don't need to impress to get energy from. The ones who are effortless to talk and confide in. The ones that look for the victory in us rather than the domination of the others. Be fiercely you. Be independent and unique. Don't waste time on confirming to anything or anyone that doesn't celebrate that with you. Anywho. I may have a day or another decade. But I'ma use that time growing. It's all I can really think as to why I was born at all.
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