a year ago, a girl i was going out with recommended this album to me, after i heard the song "Insecure" while we made out in her car. a year later, we don't really talk anymore, but i finally listened to this album all the way through... and i loved it so much that i felt compelled to text her and thank her profusely for the recommendation. i kept my text to her short and sweet, but i have a lot to say about this special album.
i'm jewish, and though i'm not a religious person, i've been thinking a lot about religion lately and what it means to me. growing up, i went to synagogue with my family for the high holidays, and i didn't particularly connect with any of the scripture in this sterile environment. throughout college, i was involved in an alternative jewish space that welcomed everyone as they were and centered social justice, and we hosted events where we got to share food, space, songs, hopes for the future, etc.
now that i'm not in college, and not living with my family, i'm figuring out what religion means to me at an individual level and how it affects the way i interact with the world around me. it's been years since i've been to a synagogue, but i try to go to concerts as much as i can, because music means the world to me and experiencing it in a live setting, in community, is sacred... and by sacred, i mean that it commands your full attention, it swallows you whole, forces you to let go.
i haven't experienced this album in a live setting, and because northern picture library have since disbanded, i likely never will. but the other day, after smoking some weed, lighting some candles, laying on the floor in almost complete darkness, and playing this album on my noise-cancelling headphones, i saw god in my room.
every sound on every song envelops you completely. the vocals, the harmonies, the organ, the field recordings, the synths, the guitars, the lyrics... everything is perfection in its purest form. the mix makes it sound so close to you, yet so far away. the overexposed album cover feels incredibly fitting, with every song making up a sliver of a bright and beautifully blinding heaven. and it doesn't surprise me at all that the length of this album is an angel number (1 hr 11 mins).
i can't remember the last time i was this moved by an album. it solidified my desire to, one day, go to divinity school and do extensive research on the many religious qualities of music; i still have loans to pay, life to live, and lots of music to listen to, but i'm excited to go down this rabbit hole one day. it's kind of funny that i've come to this conclusion honestly, considering that the girl who recommended this to me is majoring in religion, and i never thought i would want to study religion at an academic level. i guess this is just a testament to how everyone you meet, and especially everyone you care about (or have cared about), are woven into the fabric of your life, no matter how long they're a part of it. what goes around comes back around... life is a spiral!
i hope you take the time to listen to this album and let it move you. i can't promise you'll see god (we're still getting to know each other), but i guarantee it'll restore your faith... if not in god, then in yourself <3
Oct 1, 2024
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craaaaaazy question to ask me specifically because now I will never shut the fuck up
I first came into contact with this album in 2022 or 2023 because its final and titular track was featured in the end credits of an episode of Girls. It immediately became one of my all-time favorites. Both gut-wrenching and hopeful, the song's narrator reminisces on a previous emotionally dark time for them, a time when they were grieving and trying to hold onto things they couldn't keep (underweight, in the street, hot with grief). The hope in this song, which takes the breath out of my lungs, lies in both the crucial past tense of these feelings and in the final lines, 'get well soon, get well soon / I was once just like you.' This has become a sort of mantra for me. Tucek takes something you would see on a kitschy greeting card and turns it into a plea for recovery.
Unfortunately, it took me months to sit down and actually listen to the full album in late winter 2024. It happened very much by accident. I was itching to hear something new and thought, well, at some point I should check out the rest of this artist's work, considering this is one of my top 5 favorite songs of all time. I never expected it to be such a work. I figured someone else would've sang its praises by now if it was going to change my life (which is why I adore this ask, because I think we all have an album like this, or at least we all should). The albums contains stories of grief, regret, dissatisfaction, bad fathers, and ultimately Moving On with a capital M. The track order is perfection. My other favorite song from this album is The Fireman. Somehow it is able to invoke in me feelings I've never experienced as someone whose father was not an absent asshole. The Doctor is a beautiful song about wanting to surgically excise the negative aspects of us that we get from our parents. Things Left Behind is great for thinking about death. Wooden has a perfect guitar solo.
This album is unique, fleshed-out metaphors with mostly a handful of acoustic instruments and an excellent voice. I would change nothing about it. I plan on tattooing the cover on my body because I want it to be a permanent part of my skin.
I might have to write more on this. Transcendent album. if you like Weyes Blood, Angel Olson, Aimee Mann, you will enjoy this. If grief is as constant to you as breathing you will enjoy this. If you're mad at your dad you will enjoy this.
Get well soon (and I mean it)! xoxo
Oct 22, 2024
Discovering an album that you cannot. stop. listening to at the end of an era (literally, the end of the year) always feel like it holds a deeper meaning or purpose in your life than those you happen upon in the midst of a season. This album found me as I am entering an entire year of being single, an entire year of being out of college, beginning therapy, and beginning a path towards completely changing my life by moving to a new country. Winter's amateur-ish yet incredibly passionate vocals bring life to humorous, hallucinatory, and anecdotal lyrics. On top of this, the instrumentation ranges from folksy to eclectic, reminiscent of post-punk bands like Black Country, New Road, while maintaining a more whimsical air on the project entirely. This album makes me laugh and cry and feel and yearn. Listen to this in 2025
"GOD IS REAL GOD IS REAL IM NOT KIDDING GOD IS ACTUALLY REAL IM NOT KIDDING THIS TIME I THINK GOD IS ACTUALLY FOR REAL GOD IS REAL GOD IS ACTUALLY REAL GOD IS REAL I WOULDNT JOKE ABOUT THIS IM NOT KIDDING THIS TIME" -$0
Dec 31, 2024
I know this album cover is imprinted into the corneas of many already. but I’m listening to this ~8 yrs after I first found it, which sort of marked the start of my own self-discovery w music (along with, who else, but velvet underground). and since they are both so huge, I’ve had a hard time listening to them as earnestly in years since. of course relationships with music change, but I think I became embarrassed by the earnestness of this album & its internet overexposure. but it is sincere and beautiful (+ a little freaky and smutty) and it is very special to come back to every now and then. it turns on a certain part of my soul I can’t usually access when I come to it at the right moment. full of love and oneness w humanity, time transcendent
“let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see”
2d ago
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the last word i wrote down in my list is maelstrom! i think i have like 100 words written down, some of them repeated without meaning to... i like words a lot and there are many i wish to remember and immortalize. what’s a word you never want to forget?
Sep 29, 2024
Sep 23, 2024
i saw this cloud shaped like a bunny like a month ago and i think about her all the time
Sep 5, 2024