💢
I'm sure its all due to my poor diet & sleep, and my body is really starting to feel it. Hopefully once I sleep tonight, i'll wake up brand new and relieved to see that "it was all Monday's fault". I wouldn't be surprised, monday's are usually the worst for me, I can always feel it.
Recently I agreed to sleep over at a friends of mine, I like her, and while I wasn't consciously expecting anything but a fun night, I did hope me and her would spark and burn passionately for a night, I really need that touch, embrace, sweat, kiss. It didn't happen, and that's okay, but for some reason, i'm tired of spending these nights alone. I was really glad to have felt and smelt someones breath as they sleep away. I hope i'm not a weirdo, but I LOVE seeing someones face as they dream, & her cute tattoos sitting peacefully on her arms and thighs put me at ease.
Not enough ease to calm the anxiety bubbling in my stomach, bouncing in my brain, and burning my watery eyes. I didn't sleep at all that night, and I woke up to her telling me she's gotta get ready for a date.
Oct 1, 2024
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I had been going through endless sleepless nights and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I took some pills and went outside, sat on a bench and watched the stars, smoking cigarettes and dozing off, hoping with all my heart to finally fall asleep, because then I’d finally be at peace.
I went to the cemetery and dozed off between two graves. Looking at the stars while thinking that those people could no longer see them broke my heart, but I was also grateful to still be here to see them myself.
Maybe I took too many pills, because I ended up sleeping for more than 24 hours and don’t really remember everything that happened afterward. Apparently, I went to my best friend’s place, she gave me coffee and cigarettes, and I found my first gray hair. Apparently, I also went out to buy a pain au chocolat, because there’s an empty bag on the living room table.
It might have been a bit too emo, a bit cringe, and kind of dangerous, but I can’t say I regret the experience
Oh, and I ran into a cat.
It stopped and stared at me; it probably isn’t used to running into another frightened little piece of vermin
Jun 30, 2025
💤
yesterday, she and i snuggled under my covers, parallel bodies awash under the light pollution that streams gently through my window each night. birds chirped as our eyes finally closed. tonight i make myself at home on the couch, in borrowed pajamas, under soft blankets. the dog’s collar clinks somewhere in the other room as he looks for a place to settle, circling for a moment before huffing to the floor. i am so tired. life is good
May 19, 2024
🐛
i truly love when people embrace the simple things in life, those are what truly builds foundations for love and wonder in one’s world.
this morning as i awoke alarmingly late, i could feel my body creak like an ancient tree. seeming wisdom seeping through the cracks yet realistically was more the product of poor sleep. i felt like a mummy awaking from its tomb and glimpses of life capturing its eye and reeling it towards reality. but this time i didn’t want to rise. i just wanted to lay. wriggle, roll, and wither below my blankets. stretching stagnantly yet efficiently.
i found so much joy in my cocoon of blankets. inching up and down across my sheets, as if i was about to break through but couldn’t leave the confines of comfort.
it was this simple thing as i peered through my cubby’s window that truly made my day. simplicity in sleepiness.
Nov 28, 2024
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Sep 27, 2024
Sep 30, 2024
🔏
church street, montclair, new jersey, cocteau twins, evading lightrail fare, white wine, whining about The Good Saturday.
Oct 5, 2024