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I'm sure its all due to my poor diet & sleep, and my body is really starting to feel it. Hopefully once I sleep tonight, i'll wake up brand new and relieved to see that "it was all Monday's fault". I wouldn't be surprised, monday's are usually the worst for me, I can always feel it.
Recently I agreed to sleep over at a friends of mine, I like her, and while I wasn't consciously expecting anything but a fun night, I did hope me and her would spark and burn passionately for a night, I really need that touch, embrace, sweat, kiss. It didn't happen, and that's okay, but for some reason, i'm tired of spending these nights alone. I was really glad to have felt and smelt someones breath as they sleep away. I hope i'm not a weirdo, but I LOVE seeing someones face as they dream, & her cute tattoos sitting peacefully on her arms and thighs put me at ease.
Not enough ease to calm the anxiety bubbling in my stomach, bouncing in my brain, and burning my watery eyes. I didn't sleep at all that night, and I woke up to her telling me she's gotta get ready for a date.
Oct 1, 2024
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yesterday, she and i snuggled under my covers, parallel bodies awash under the light pollution that streams gently through my window each night. birds chirped as our eyes finally closed. tonight i make myself at home on the couch, in borrowed pajamas, under soft blankets. the dog’s collar clinks somewhere in the other room as he looks for a place to settle, circling for a moment before huffing to the floor. i am so tired. life is good
May 19, 2024
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i truly love when people embrace the simple things in life, those are what truly builds foundations for love and wonder in one’s world.
this morning as i awoke alarmingly late, i could feel my body creak like an ancient tree. seeming wisdom seeping through the cracks yet realistically was more the product of poor sleep. i felt like a mummy awaking from its tomb and glimpses of life capturing its eye and reeling it towards reality. but this time i didn’t want to rise. i just wanted to lay. wriggle, roll, and wither below my blankets. stretching stagnantly yet efficiently.
i found so much joy in my cocoon of blankets. inching up and down across my sheets, as if i was about to break through but couldn’t leave the confines of comfort.
it was this simple thing as i peered through my cubby’s window that truly made my day. simplicity in sleepiness.
Nov 28, 2024
I am high-school-level depressed lately and have been bailed on three times this weekend alone… in my mind I’m giving this painting, going totally horizontal and nibbling shroom chocolate as I plumb the unsavory depths of the internet for mind numbing bullshit to watch. also I put on a little nightgown with sheep on it ❤️
Feb 11, 2024
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Sep 30, 2024
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church street, montclair, new jersey, cocteau twins, evading lightrail fare, white wine, whining about The Good Saturday.
Oct 5, 2024
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Are we all collectively counting baby years? Anyways, I hear my dad trying to kill a mouse in the kitchen, and i'm thinking of all the times anything romantically could've happened with anyone in my life.
I think we're both going to be up all night trying desperately to grasp something.
Oct 2, 2024