We were 14. It was a costume party. I wasn't dressed up, not quite sure why; I could've easily been Wanda. We were hiding together. I was in love with him at the time. We're both mostly gay now. I look back on it fondly. 😇
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So one of my flexes is that actually I had a great first kiss experience. I was 15, it was with my girlfriend at the time. We had been dating on and off for a few months (this was both our first like serious relationship that counted so it was pretty messy in soooo many ways). We had been best friends for a long time before dating and we always had feelings for each other.
We were in my house playing Dictator on my iPad, sitting on a bean bag in my room. We were cuddling and the tension was over the roof, and after holding the most intense stare ever I ask "what?" (and I knew what was happening but I wanted to play dumb so that she would say it and then I would not have to start it because I was nervous and we had never kissed and thought she might reject me?) anyway and she went "god, I hope I don't regret this" (which like looking back no wonder I was afraid of getting rejected and like damn bitch but also we were teens and she was very nervous too). So she KISSED ME and everything inside me exploded. We proceeded to make out for like a full 40 minutes with some breaks and like got hands under shirts and also this was the first time I ever touched a boob and it was MINDBLOWING and AWESOME (i love boobs).
The breaks we took in between were also pretty sweet. Our relationship up to this point and also after was full of hiding because neither of us wanted our families to know we were together so we were always looking to get intimate in positions were breaking apart at a moment's notice would give us plausible deniability (I still was a cishet man so it wasn't a closet thing back then, but neither of us was ever very close to our families that way). We would play a couple of rounds of Dictator and then make out in the ad breaks. Also my dog was around and wanted to play and was SUCH a bother. In the end the secrecy wasn't effective because the bean bag was right in front of my door (which I was not allowed to close) and we noticed at some point my mom was passing my room on the way out of a room we never saw her walk into in the first place...? So she definitely saw us, we just don't know at what part (hopefully not when we were getting handsy LOL).
We dated for a couple of months more, broke up because I left on a semester abroad, got back together after two years and had a much better, healthier, steady relationship for that time. We don't speak anymore (but that's a story for ANOTHER day) but last we spoke about this we both remember this kiss very fondly.
Oct 17, 2024
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a little all over the place experience-wise because it was not even a little peck, it was straight up making out, AND i hadn’t fully realized/come to terms with being gay so afterward i couldn’t sleep due to my guilt and anxiety and literally almost threw up lol 🙈 in hindsight i was def baby gay in love with her at the time! i was messy but (until i moved mid-hs) we ended up being good friends for a time :)
Oct 16, 2024
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He was in eighth grade; I was in sixth grade. We were in our middle school performance of Into the Woods Jr. together (I played Jack—yes I brought the house down with my rendition of Giants in the Sky—and he played the Baker). He called me Smurf because I got blue paint on my face when we were painting sets.
He was like five feet tall with a mushroom haircut and loved Bob Dylan and would sit out in front of the car drop off area in the mornings with a little handmade poster protesting the Iraq war which I was also precociously passionate about. Once we were at a sight reading competition off campus (I played viola and he was a cellist) and he pulled a foil wrapped burrito out of his pants pocket and ate it and then folded it into a plane. He was my second biggest customer for choir fundraising candybars (my biggest customer was myself I actually ended up eating basically the whole case).
Also a boy named Nick who was assigned as my stand partner in orchestra his first day as a transfer student. I accidentally jabbed him in the eye with my bow shortly after meeting him and apologized profusely, to which he said, ‘it’s okay. That’s my blind eye‘ (not a joke he had cataracts in childhood). we then grew to hate each other with every passing day and would bicker and argue constantly about our ideological opinions on random things. I got called into the principals office for bullying him after I threw paper balls at him but I assured them the conflict was mutual. He had long curly hair and carried a Che Guevara bag and was always scowling just like me 🫶 I eventually realized that I didn’t hate him; I had a crush on him and saw him as an intellectual equal. Middle school is so hard…
Pretty much every other crush I had after that was a sick depraved degenerate but I was infatuated nonetheless. in one particular case the obsession was mutual and went on for years and even across the sea and I ended up in a demented love triangle, breaking up two best friends, and ultimately being cyber stalked... Not really iconic mostly just toxic lol 💔
Oct 8, 2024
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Jun 10, 2024
80s/90s pop/r&b, old romance songs, and LOTS of funky ambience music. recommend for lounging, cooking, getting ready to go out, etc…🌟
Apr 22, 2024