Recently a close friend (my ex-boyfriend) called me a misanthrope. I felt a little insulted, but I didnāt disagreeā¦ Scrooge is a misanthrope. That guy notoriously really sucks until he isnāt a misanthrope anymore. Then everyone decides heās better. Iām not sure I agree with this. Maybe Scrooge was right all along! Scroogeās real issue was the degree in which he was misanthropic (also his hoarding of wealth but thatās not what this is about). You canāt let it control your life. But a little bit of misanthropy never hurt anyone.Ā Am I really a misanthrope? Sure, yeah, I donāt really like people! Or at leastā¦ I donāt like most people. Or maybe what I mean is that I donāt like people because I have to or because I should. The sole reason I like a person isnāt just because they are talented or successful or beautiful or (ugh) popular. Sure, if someone I do like has those qualities then thatās great of courseā¦ But for a long time, I think I may have deluded myself that some of my friendships were deeper than my attraction to those qualities and how they benefited me and vice versa. Like an ouroboros of narcissism disguised as friendship and intimacy. For a long time, I was nervous to give in to what felt like my less personable traits, like being critical of people, or being reclusive, because I didnāt want to degrade my social capital, I didnāt want to be perceived as the bitch I was afraid I really was deep down inside. But the more I felt guilt over my feelings of dislike, the more I started to hate myself, the more I started to act in ways that I never would have, had I just been more conscious of the reasons behind my lifestyle in the first place. And I know that not everybody has experienced this, but I know Iām not the only one who has. The realization that I was living a life that was a rejection of my actual self in order to protect my place in āthe worldā was not an easy one to come to. Itās not like itās easy to admit to yourself that you arenāt immune to the shallowest impulses of human behavior and connection. Itās so much easier to continue pretending that you enjoy the presence of everyone around you, that you like all the things they do and make and say. Itās easy to accept someone as being interesting and smart because everyone says they are and because they are right there looking at you, talking to you. And so itās then very easy to assume that you are also smart and interesting, because they are, or at least everyone says they are. And if questioning someone's merit also questions yours? Well itās just easier to not. Itās easy because it feels good to be liked, it feels good to be liked by people who other people like. It feels good to receive admiration for simply ābeingā. But just because something is easy doesnāt mean itās right. And just because something feels good doesnāt mean itās good for you. And this is where a little touch of misanthropy comes in to save the day. And not like, hate for mankind! Just an acceptance of your own moral failings, and those of the people around you. Itās weird because as soon as I took myself out of the center of the dissatisfactions of my life, only then was I finally able to honestly relate to everyone. Itās likeā¦ We are all equal to each other in our inadequacies, but then different in what we do about it. So, once youāve come to the realization that you might suck and that the people around you might suck, and that both of these things lend themselves to making the entirety of your life suck, you can take action!