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tonight im all alone in my room, i’ll go in insane, if you won’t sleep with me i’ll still be with you, i’m gonna meet you on the astral plane, epitomises the weird/idealistic/pitying/aroused/self flagellating/devoted space you get into when you really really fancy someone. jonathan richman is a wordsmith after my own heart.
Oct 25, 2024

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I have someone in mind as I listen to this, but it‘ll never happen. My unrequited love. So I will just feel feelings through music. You would think in your 40s you will be done with these feelings, but it is pervasive for some of us. Allo darlin’ - dreaming will you go out with me tonight lose it on a disco floor take the night bus with me tonight frost on the window it's freezing out here on the pavement but here in your arms it's heaven i can wait for you now but not forever i have tried everything i know to make you understand this is not a game for broken hearts played by a lonely band we've both got so much to lose but here in your arms it's heaven i can wait for you now but not forever i was surprised by how happy i was don't ask why it's just because down by the harbour in the dawn it's not a star it's a satellite the thought of it keeps me from sleeping or am i already dreaming?
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"I want to be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust / I wanna be your Ford Cortina, I will never rust" John Cooper Clarke made one of the most romantic songs I've ever heard during this month. Devoting rituals to a person, rubbing lotion into their skin, thinking of them in deep oceans... Our desires are strengthened by pressure, like a muscle. I think JCC exercised that. Being on someone's mind is the greatest form of intimacy between two lovers, true intimacy in wanting to be the chair they sit on, the pillow they sleep on, the dirty engine running their car-- a miasma of devotion. Throughout abstract lyrics, you can make out the faces of our lovers-- a secretive expression of joy on their faces, the posturing of their arms raised high, a divinely muted memory. God, I want to want as much as he does on this song. It's all about want, want, want. You call the shots. I wanna be yours xx
Feb 25, 2025

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was so so sad last night and found myself at the movies. started sobbing the moment i sat in the chair for reasons entirely unrelated to the film (although it was very sad). kind of relished in it though bc the cinema unlike buses/trains/cafes is like the only public space where you wont be scorned for crying. its the only acceptable place outside of the comfort of your home for you to sit down and have a good wail because everyone will think ur crying about the movie and no one will judge u.
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a punk rock road movie by gregg araki about a couple that pick up a drifter. weirdness and chaos ensue. impeccable soundtrack and the costuming was waaaay ahead of its time. its like challengers on crack. one of my favourite flicks and was my teenage gateway into cool girl underground films. be warned though it gets pretty violent at times!
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