Related Recs

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Check in with yourself

What do feel? Where in your body are you carrying your emotions? Many of our patterns are learned behaviors that have helped us get our needs met. Maybe they were behaviors that were better suited for a different environment (like our childhoods), or maybe they have helped us get our needs met a little bit but not in the best or most fulfilling way. First, it helps to know what our needs are so we can connect them to our patterns/behaviors, and our needs reveal themselves in our feelings. I’m a major intellectualizer of my feelings. I can articulate the problems and my motivations and many of the root causes of those problems, but then my therapist would ask “How are you feeling right now?” and I’d have no idea. I would have to *think* about it rather than sit with my body and feel it. Learning to check in with myself helps me to get a clearer picture of what I need. That might start with my physical sensations. Am I tired and need rest? Am I hungry and need food? It can also be about naming emotions. Am I anxious and reassurance? Am I lonely and need connection? Am I feeling overwhelmed and need space? Don’t talk yourself out of what you’re feeling. Not all feelings are capital-T true, especially as they relate to the external world, but all feelings contain truths to what you need and can bring you closer to taking new and potentially healthier actions.

@zenlikeme

Nov 28, 2024

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT and boundaries

Things that come to mind that I’ve tried: Firstly, recognizing that it is anxiety. Helps my brain reframe the experience. I most likely didn’t do anything anyone is going to think twice about in a bad way, but rather my dang anxiety is going haywire again and is distorting things. Loving boundaries with onself. I literally talk to my anxiety like it’s a kid. I give compassion to it, but also draw the boundary that I’m not just going to listen to the same shit over and over if it’s unhelpful. It’s not ignoring, but is is consicously saying NOPE. I’m not doing this to myself! Sometimes, I just need to recognize that yeah that was weird, wtf. But I don’t let myself beat myself up over it. I also have some go to phrases that help me. Firstly, that no one probably cared or noticed the things I did. And secondly, so what if they did? What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t like me? They confront me? I usually come to the conclusion that while some situations would suck, I actually could handle anything. I’m not a bad person. Then I distract myself. I practice mindfulness in the things I’m doing so I stay in the present moment. If my mind starts to go back to that, I see if there’s more I need to feel but usually I’ve dealt with it and just say NOPE! I’m done with that now! I hope this is helpful. Sometimes when extroverting my inner process I’m unsure if it makes sense to anyone but me. But, I’ve been there! I think a lot of people have. And it sucks, but there’s a path forward 🫶

@mossyelfie

Feb 3, 2025

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The outer and the inner

Working on this is gonna be life changing for you, for real. There’s two things going on here though: The outer, which is your parents. You’ll have to learn how to set boundaries with them, which ideally are kind but firm. The pushier they are, the more firm you may have to be. It may be that you intentionally don’t involve them in things if you know they are not going to be able to respect that you’re an adult that makes his own decisions. Time will tell with that. The goal is for you to learn to trust yourself enough that you can hear them out, consider their opinion, and then make your own decision with that in mind. Which leads me to the Inner. Our parents or caretakers voice becomes our own. I am going to assume that you have taken on their worry when making decisions. Even if you never spoke to them again, you would still have to do the work within yourself to learn to trust yourself and your instinct. Part of this is practicing. Learning how to calm yourself and regulate when you’re feeling that come up. You are going to make mistakes and make the wrong decision, but that is important in learning. You don’t have to be perfect. Practice discerning what is YOUR voice, and what is your parents voice. A therapist can be really helpful in guiding this process. Overall, these are skills that you are both unlearning and learning. It will take time. If I can think of some books that may help, I’ll comment them.

@mossyelfie

Sep 14, 2024

Top Recs from @sachikom

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learn something totally different, just to prove that you can

Python! Honestly very hard for me to get into - I have ZERO coding knowledge and nothing I could really latch onto - knowledge transfer is how I learn. But https://futurecoder.io/ is great (after lots of Redditing)

@sachikom

Aug 18, 2024

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luminous puffins!

The puffin is the latest addition to more than 180 known species—many of them sharks, corals, and other marine animals—that emit a luminous glow. The fact that so many marine animals biofluoresce "tells us organisms are using light in ways we don't even see," John Sparks, curator of fishes at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City.

@sachikom

Nov 16, 2024

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lower your expectations without lowering your standards

I read that happiness is when your expectations falls below the reality. A new mind project for April. Good prognosis.

@sachikom

Apr 7, 2024