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"the poison in every puff is killing him, like all smokers, but the pleasure comes from slowly dying." i recently moved to spain and the onslaught of cigarette smoking here inspired me to read "cigarettes are sublime" by richard klein (in the kantian sense of sublimity). its wonderful meditation on the literary, philosophical, and cultural history of smoking, all from the perspective of an addict trying to quit. in that sense, it reads sort of like a eulogy. klein introduces a ton of fascinating ideas, such as cigarettes functioning as clocks and ways to escape time, the function of cigarettes on screen, and the relationship between women's liberation and smoking cigarettes. very beautifully written and the author has a hilarious wit! if you like philosophy you should check it out! to other americans, it may or may not undo the years of successful anti-cigarette messaging 🫣
Nov 4, 2024

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I have a vivid memory of being 18 years old, my parents just moved me across the country into my dorm, and as I watched their car turn a corner away from view, I pulled out a pack of Gauloises and lit up. I was a woman now. I loved smoking, I was never a heavy smoker, but I always wanted to keep it light enough so that it could forever be in my life. Anyway, years later there was a pandemic/heart break/lots of life changes and the idea of long term planning (staying alive/having nice skin) flew out the window for me and cigarettes took a much bigger role in my life and that freaked me out. So I read the same stupid book that everyone does, I rolled my eyes the whole time thinking NO WAY and then I finished the book and was freed. Last page done = no desire for another cigarette again. Probably it’s a form of hypnosis, and an essential element is being ready to say goodbye, but if you ARE ready: The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr is some type of witchcraft. Also, Anthony Hopkins and Angelica Huston blurbed the edition I read, and I thought that was convincing evidence. They probably smoked a lot.
Jan 21, 2025
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started buying my own cigs at the start of last year to get through a rough patch. it was me and my marlboro golds against the world back then. was too broke to afford to buy them super regularly so i'd have to ration over weeks. and luckily (not really) my friends also started smoking around the same time so i could bum off them if need be. i've been quitting since i properly started and i haven't bought a pack in a while now. moved onto strictly social smoking but i go out often enough it makes this a tad redundant. i don't desperately fiend for it as much, i could hardly finish the last one i had but god does a drunk cig feel good af. also as someone who does biomed, your reminder and mine that smoking is really bad for you btw!!! we really need to invent smoking that isn't a health hazard.
Apr 9, 2024
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one should treat smoking with the same temperment as eating meat, grotesquely decadent if done daily. sumptuous and graceful if they are intaken sporatically with intent. this of course excludes railway workers, who should huff and puff to their hearts content.
Apr 10, 2024

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well-written article analyzing cronenburg's films and contrasting them with today's sexual politics and lack of eroticism. passage i enjoyed: In fact, we are not impermeable packages of preformed desires, importing our likes and dislikes around with us from one encounter to the next like papers in a briefcase. An erotic craving is inextricable from the ferment that foams up when oneself is sluiced into another. Not only is it impossible for us to know whether an encounter will be deflating or transformative but we cannot know what sort of metamorphosis will ensue if the sex is as jarring as we can only hope it will be.Β 
Feb 19, 2024
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and marvel at the progress you've made. im reading my old journal entries and i was actually a mess, but i've grown so much in a year :) always love and appreciate your old self because she's still within you
Apr 2, 2024